Emotional numbness in the midst of it all

in #life4 years ago

There was a funny thing that I saw today on some social media. Apparently, Russia has finally opened its borders, and now regular people can fly to Turkey, business people and VIP can fly to England, and it seems like everyone can fly to Tanzania. Yes, Tanzania, of all countries in the world - and I don’t mean it in any derogative way, I would love to go to Tanzania myself. It’s just that... Why? Why not Poland, or Moldova, or Belarus that are next door and that are far more likely to have relatives who people want to visit? Anyway, it seems like my travel to Russia/Eastern Europe will have to wait till these morons come up with some screwed up plan to allow it under some drastic rules like getting shots or staying in quarantine for 2-3 weeks or taking the test every time you are about to enter the new country.

To tell you the truth, I’m no longer very interested in world news, and I get my information (whether truthful or not, everything is taken as something that may or may not exist) from random sources that just happen to come my way. This is happening because I have been focusing on my child and developing some personal things which may help us go on no matter what kind of news and events happen all around. Another reason is that I’ve been burnt out and literally succumbed into this weird state of nothingness where nothing (duh) makes one emotional anymore, and the only way to go on is focus on simple physical actions like moving your legs when you walk or feeling warm water and soap when you wash the dishes.

I have experienced something that has a specific term in psychology, which I can’t recall now. It’s when your brain blocks negative or scary events/feelings and you no longer feel any emotional response to them, you become numb. There are reasons for it of course, and I am very aware of my own condition; no matter what I go through, I am also my own researcher, scientist, adventurer, and an experimental subject. The only thing that bugs me a bit is that one day I might go too far.

Life is very complicated, no matter how much everyone screams everything is simple. Life can be very dark and very unpredictable, and there just isn’t anything you can do except for finding your own strength to go on.

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I think it all is being shown for the sham its always been and you can see we have no control and making up things as we go along to try and give us the idea of control or the feeling but really there isn't much we can do!

I say focus on oneself and try to live the best life you can