Stubbornness is a known phenomenon in the behavior of some children, where the child refuses what is ordered or insists on the conduct of something, characterized by stubbornness and insistence not to retreat even in the case of coercion, a common behavior disorders, and may occur for a brief period or a passing stage or a continuous pattern and a recipe and static behaviors The personality of the child.
- When does stubbornness begin?
Intolerance is a behavioral phenomenon that begins at an early age. A child two years before the age does not show signs of obstinacy in his behavior because he is totally dependent on the mother or others who provide him with his needs. His attitude is neutral, adaptive, flexible and relative.
The first stage is when a child can walk and talk before the age of three or after the first two years. As a result of his feeling of independence, and as a result of the growth of his mental perceptions, stubbornness is associated with the imagination and desires in his head.
The second stage is stubbornness in adolescence; stubbornness is an expression of separation from parents, but generally, over time, the child or adolescent discovers that stubbornness and challenge are not the proper way to achieve his demands; he learns the proper social customs of giving and giving, and finds that cooperation and understanding open up horizons In new experiences and skills, especially if the parents treat the child with some flexibility and understanding and open the door to dialogue with him, with a firm tenderness. - And many forms of infidelity:
- Intransigence design and will:
This stubbornness must be encouraged and supported; because it is a kind of design, we may see the child insist on repeating his attempt, such as insisting on trying to fix a game, and if he fails insistently insist on repeating his attempt.
Unconscious obstinacy
The determination of the child to his will without regard to the consequences of this intransigence is a stubbornness, as if the child insists on completing a television film despite trying to persuade his mother to sleep; so that he can wake up in the morning to go to school. - Insubordination with self:
The child may be angry with his mother; he refuses to eat hungry, despite his mother's attempts to eat and he thinks that by doing so he is starving himself. - Insubordination Behavioral Disorder:
The child is willing to resist, quarrelsome and oppose others. He is accustomed to stubbornness, continuous means, a firm pattern and a fixed recipe in personality, and here he needs the advice of a specialist. - Physiological stubbornness:
Some organic injuries to the brain such as types of mental retardation can show the child with them in the negative negative appearance.
. * Causes of stubbornness
Intolerance is desirable in the natural situations - when not exaggerated - and will confirm self-confidence in children, and the causes: - Adult orders: which may sometimes be inappropriate for reality, and may lead to negative consequences, which leads the child to stubbornness reaction to parental repression forced him to something, such as insisting on the mother to wear a heavy coat that hampers his movement during the game, and perhaps The failure to win the race with his friends, or his color is contrary to the color of the school uniform, and this may cause him reprimand at school; therefore refuse to wear it, and parents did not realize these dimensions.
- Adult: The child may resort to determination and insistence on the opinion of his father or his mother, when they are determined to do something or something to do something, without convincing him because of the usefulness of this command is required to implement.
- The child's desire to assert itself: The child goes through stages of psychological growth, and when signs of stubbornness is not exaggerated, it refers to the stage of growth, and this helps the child to stability and discovery of himself and his ability to influence, and with time will learn that stubbornness and challenge are not in the right ways To achieve demands.
- Intervention on a continuous basis by parents and the lack of flexibility in treatment: The child rejects the dry tone, and accepts the request, and resort to stubbornness with attempts to restrict movement, and prevent him from doing what he wants without trying to convince him.
- Concomitant: stubbornness may show a reaction from the child against excessive dependence on the mother, or excessive dependence on the nanny or servant.
- Feeling helpless: The child's suffering and feelings of childhood experiences, or shocks, or chronic disabilities make stubbornness a way to face the sense of helplessness and lack of suffering.
- Support and respond to the behavior of stubbornness: Meeting the child's demands and desires as a result of the exercise of stubbornness, learning the behavior of stubbornness and support, and become one of the methods that enable him to achieve his purposes and desires.
- how to deal with the stubborn child ?
Education scientists say: Parents are often the cause of rooting stubbornness in children; the child is born and knows nothing about stubbornness, the mother treats her children love and imagine that education does not meet all the requests of the child, while the child insists on them, Conversely, the child will be seduced by stubbornness. In this case, - The distance from forcing the child to obey, and to resort to the warmth of soft treatment and flexibility in the situation, the little stubbornness can turn a blind eye to him, and respond to what this child wants, as long as the realization of his desire will not harm, and as long as this desire within acceptable limits.
- Fill the child with something else and camouflage it if it is small, and discuss and understanding with him if it is great.
- The warm and convincing dialogue is not deferred from the most successful methods in the emergence of the position of stubbornness; the postponement of the dialogue to a later time the child feels that he has won the fight without right.
- Punishment at the time of direct obstinacy, provided that the type of punishment that works with this particular child is known, because the type of punishment differs in its effect from one child to another. Punishment by depriving or not going out or not doing good things can give fruit to a child and do not work with another child. I use the method of beatings and insults; they will not work, but they may feel humiliated and broken.
- Do not formulate our requests from the child in such a way that we feel that we expect him to refuse, because this opens the way for the lack of response and stubbornness.
- Do not describe the stubbornness of hearing, or compare with other children saying: (They are not as stubborn as you).
- Praise your child when he is good, when he shows a good gesture in any action, and be realistic when determining your requests.
Finally, it must be recognized that the child's stubborn treatment is not easy; it requires wisdom and patience, and not to despair or surrender to the fait accompli.