The Power of Listening

We all have heard about the power of listening, the force that it can have the action of only being quiet, and listenning to the words coming out of someone's mouth. The question is: How many times a day we actually listen?

If you're like me, -I barely listen, most of the time I am in such a hurry to express my opinion and make the other person listen to it that I'm just quiet, not processing any information, and just trying to remember what I was actually going to say,- the chance is that you also barely listen most of the time.

At other times, I turn a conversation into a discussion just to prove my point and make myself feel I'm right, I hope you don't do this, but if you do, don't worry, here is what this article is for. But, how wise this kind of behaviour really is?

(Rabbits have big ears for a reason)

Let,s read a bit what the bible, a holy book written a few thousand years ago, has to say about it:

"Whoever responds before he listens, demonstrates himself to be foolish and deserving of confusion."
Proverbs, 18:13

"In a multitude of speaking, sin will not be lacking. But whoever tempers his lips is most prudent."
Proverbs, 10:19

"You know this, my most beloved brothers. So let every man be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to anger."
James, 1:19

So , the question is: how do we listen better then?

Here there are a few tips for a better listening and talking experience:

• Ask questions, specially about the topic being discussed at the time. Don't jump from topic to topic right away.

• Don't interrupt and don't tell your "solutions." If people wants an advice about something they will ask for it, otherwise, most of the time they just want to be listened.

• Ask open-ended questions if possible, a difference between open-ended questions and closed-ended questions is something like this:

Closed-ended questions:

-Are you feeling better today?
-Is math your favorite subject?
-Is that haunted house really scary?

Usually, the response to these questions is yes or no, and unless the other person is really extrovert and really enjoys talking, it tends -as it's name implies- to close the conversations.

Open-ended questions:

-How exactly did the fight between the two of you start?
-What is your favorite memory from childhood?
-What was your high school experience like?

These kind of questions, unless the other person is really shy, tends - as it's name implies again- to open the conversation and develop a sense of a deeper and more intimate connection between the subjects conversating.

One more tip now:

• Speak slowly.

(Sometimes we have to be slow as turtles)

Look at it this way , which one of the following two phrases is easier to read and understand for you?

hihowwereyourswimmingclassestoday?

or

Hi! How were your swimming classes today?

The thing is, when we're writing, we can check what we write, and if we write something wrong, we can delete it and write it again, at least most of the time. When we speak, we can't.

So, our best tool for not saying wrong things we might regret after is actually speaking slower, this allows us to think more about what we say, and what a better way to do this than by speaking slower, giving us more time to actually think about it.

I hope you have enjoyed this article and that it's usefull to you, have a great day! If you have any comments I would really enjoy to hear them.

Thanks to:

https://www.bibliacatolica.com.br/
https://dailyverses.net/listening
https://www.openbible.info/topics/listening_to_others
https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/#2cc064a83891
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-open-ended-and-closed-ended-questions.html