this was very insightful. I have some experience with transgender people because a friend of mine from the past transitioned from a man to being a woman. This was confusing for me for sure because I was relating to her as a woman and I just thought she liked men. But it turned out that she liked women, and I began to feel uncomfortable. I believe she had a crush on me. This was not really welcome because I am a straight woman. I am not attracted to women at all.......I think this was potentially the most confusing experience I've ever had. I began to distance myself from her because I was not interested at all in a romantic relationship.

On a side note, I feel that I am on a spectrum of being female that does not identify with the traits that society holds as being female. I am a very strong person in many ways, and I find myself quite at home among males. I have worked in male-dominated spaces, and even though I dislike them for the most part, I can generally hold my own, and I don't feel threatened by men. What I think I dislike the most about being female is that males tend to throw me in some category that actually does not relate to me. I was a science writer, too and so this further throws off men who try to mansplain to me various science and tech topics. So, I think it is a societal definition of feminine that i dislike. I hate being viewed as a sexual object and despise how men and boys degrade girls on a constant basis.

So, this translates into me not identifying with the female sex object role model, and it also results in me not wanting to draw attention to myself. I'm not gay by any stretch of the imagination, even though, there have been times I wished I was because of the grave fear of pregnancy. Many lesbians have confused me for being gay because I generally don't wear makeup and I don't wear fussy clothes. I dress kind of in a gender neutral way. I do, however, like to play dress up and sort of play around with female personalities. I like being dramatic and creative in making up female characters.

For all these reasons, I feel kind of odd, like a true eccentric. I don't have a strong one-dimensional way I present myself. It's like I have a private identity that is creative and feminine, but I don't want to show it to the world...
And my sexuality has caused a lot of issues too. I am a straight woman, but I have some problems with intimacy. For many years, I sort of viewed my sexuality with disdain, I had a lot of guilt. It is for these reasons I feel that gay men are drawn to me, because in many ways our struggles are the same. Many gay men feel comfortable being themselves around me because of our shared difficulties in dealing with the male sexual relationship....