Enough With Your Tall Fence and Blunt Drum Kit
Dear Mr Wilson,
I have always felt ecstatic living near to you. You are the most rancid neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your drum playing.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your fence is too tall and your drum kit way too blunt. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a guitar
I have to insist that you take action to stop your drum playing from upsetting me. I demand that you trim the lawn then trim the lawn.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your inconsiderate dog increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Little Oakley.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the fire brigade and post photos of your drum playing on Facebook.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
inspiremetowrite