Absence of internet, absence of presence

I'm not sure how much my absence has been noticed but I know it's bad timing along with the the push for for LGBT content. But it looks like there are a lot of new posts and new faces as well. The queer movement on steemit seems to be really growing and I am excited for that.

I very much still want to be a part of this renaissance as well and I apologize for being MIA this week, it's been a real sh*t sandwich. I was already dealing with some personal issues, family stuff, being let down my therapists and friends alike so I was in a bad state to begin with when our internet went down. Hours upon hours of talking on the phone, chat and then going into the local Comcast store had me on a roller coaster of this will be back up and working shortly, to went can't help you unless we start charging you for equipment you already own and that had been working normally for 2 years until it just stopped randomly (no, I have not moved, changed any information, devices or anything thank you).

And then my good friend died.

This came on the heels of another good friend calling me with news of his mother's passing. I felt guilty that I did not know her health had declined in the last couple months, that I hadn't checked in on her more recently. We had been very good friends in our 20s but when she married, had children and moved away to the east coast our correspondence has been sporadic. I grieve for my friend but also her childhood best friend who was my first long term girlfriend, and most especially for her wife and two children. They lived in Maryland so I am fairly certain that I should not have any fears about custody but this is a scary new world and I sincerely hope no one has to have any more trouble piled on an already incredibly difficult time.

So basically for the last week or so I just have not been functioning as a person. My internet is also still non-functional and I am writing for a coffeeshop where I have to go to for work purposes at least. Luckily, my job has been very understanding of all my life circumstances and I have also been putting in less hours. But we do have a website launching this week and I need to be on hand. I haven't had the capacity for things like writing, blogging, commenting or steemit in general but I am hoping going forward it can be part of my healing process as I have to start re-entering the world anyhow.

Thanks all for your understanding.

And in the meantime check out this cool article my girlfriend wrote about toxic masculinity on the Pacific Crest Trail. She's been there for me through a lot of the tough stuff this week though it affects her too and still managed to get this out into the world despite all the backlash she knew she'd get.