Yes, me too. I was always looking for good mirrors. I had a best friend in college, and I went searching for her replacement. I never found one. For that I am sad. I sound gay, but i'm not. I just never found a friend that shared such a deep connection, and made life like we were children again. I miss her, and it makes me upset to think that I can never find it again, just that sort of friendship. I suppose this is why adults become full of sadness and are jaded.
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Yes at that age we really need mirrors! Actually, maybe we always do at any age. And you're so right - friendships are so important. I think that I've loved and still love friends even more than lovers! It's different, but when I've lost a friend it's taken me years to recover and a hole is left that just can't be filled. It's not about being gay, but just because I too need my friends, love them so much. I'm so sorry you lost your dearest best friend....
I think one of the reasons my travels back then weren't as rich as I'd hoped was that I was desperately lonely too. I had friends but they weren't with me, I was traveling alone and yes I made new friends on my travels but it isn't the same as those friends who knew me and I knew them. Anyway, I have hope that you'll find a real true close heart to heart friend again.There is plenty of life left to live and you're amazing, cheers to that!