Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 22 Dec 2017

in #jokes7 years ago

Joke 1

Life is short

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/108


Joke 2

Upper management making all the technology decisions is like your parents buying your school clothes...without you.


Joke 3

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."

The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."


Joke 4

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.


Joke 5

A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.

He gets into a taxi and the driver says, "How are you on this lovely day?"

I'm the Class of 2001, just graduated from Harvard and I just can't wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me.

The driver looks back to shake the young man's hand and says, "Congratulations, I'm Mitch Class of 1969."


Joke 6

A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.

She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.

He replied calmly, "Get the cat, and the tail, and we'll take them to Wal-Mart."

She was incredulous. "How could that possibly help?" she asked.

Well, he replied, "they're the world's largest retailer."


Joke 7

Good morning, class, Miss Crabtree said to her third graders as she began the school day. "Everyone get out your homework and pass it forward please."

The students all passed their homework forward. Miss Crabtree collected them and began looking through them.

Little Johnny, where's your homework? she asked.

The dog ate it, Little Johnny replied.

Oh, come on, Little Johnny! Miss Crabtree exclaimed. "You expect me to believe that ridiculous excuse? That was being said when I was in grade school! It's old and tired!"

But it's true, Little Johnny said. "The dog did eat my homework!"

I'm not buying it, Little Johnny, Miss Crabtree said. "Besides, everyone knows dogs don't eat paper!"

Tell me about it, Little Johnny replied. "I had to cover it in peanut butter, hold him down and force-feed it to him before he finally ate it!"


Joke 8

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.


Prove them wrong

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/109


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2017/12/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-22-dec.html


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some serious truths were told here...

I like joke #3, ironic but funny!

Got some good laughs... Thanks for sharing...

Life is too short. Nice to meet you. I am @billionairehein. I live in Myanmar where Daw Aung San Suu Kyi stay. Thank you.

Hhhh funny jokes😂😂😂

Hahaha.. Funny! :)
Thank you for making me laugh this early @sydesjokes ! Resteemed.

i like jokes,,specially your jokes are kinda lovely

Some good old jokes :D

I agree with you.

How funny 😂

Nice jokes

hahahaha i Enjoy this,,,,

Joke 5 was good.

Nice jokes.

your jokes are kinda lovely,funny jokes

Thank you @sydesjokes for improving my mood. Have a nice day.

😆😃 nice jokes! 😃😆

No 3 is so awesome. Lol

No 8 is awesome......Can't stop laughing!!

Off color jokes crack me up. Funny stuff once again.

hahahaha...I am smiling as I have teeth :)

who or what are we proving wrong?

The doctor and the plumber, it means change your profession

I like joke #3