I laughed really hard reading all your weird experiences with those ladies. While I suspect that the preluding stories are largely untold or omitted, I find your account funny and familiar. Women culturally seem to saddle men with the burden of bill payment.

Above all, I love the expression below:

When dinner was done, and we made our way to the cash register, the only cash that made its way to the register was mine.

I hope you had other ways of recovering the cash that went to the register. Hahahaha