Di ciò che non sento - Of what I do not feel [ITA - ENG]

in #ita-poetry7 years ago (edited)

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Originale dell'autore - Festa di paese / Original by @f3nix - Village feast

Di ciò che non sento



Se mi lasci qui, abbraccerò la piazza,
e il mangiafuoco che, fra torce consunte,
sorride all’ultimo ebbro naufragio di suoni.
E il cagliarsi di gente ricorda arcipelaghi
il cui moto d’eoni é deriva di tempi migliori.

L’albore già bacia della tua veste l’orlo,
io resto adagiato alla vera del pozzo e rimesto
i fumi spezzati, frammenti inesplosi di storie,
matasse cardate di suoni. Muovendo la ruota,
dall’orbita nera, emerge il catino di ciò che non vedo.

Qui stento, cantando di ciò che non sento,
duelli di anime perse, amori assordanti e negati.
Fragranti miracoli, scagliati nel tronfio fluire dei giorni.
Vorrei coricarmi in un letto d’immenso, ma resto
a guardare la piazza. Mi chiami, lontana nel vento.


Of what I do not feel



Leave me here, I will stare at the square,
and the fire-breather which, among worn torches,
smiles at this last inebriated shipwreck of sounds.
And the curdling of people, recalling of archipelagos
whose eons' motion is the debris of better times.

The dawn has already kissed your hem,
I lay here, resting on the well's humid marble, stirring
broken evanescences, unexploded fragments of stories,
carded skeins of sounds. Moving the wheel,
from the black orb, a basin of what I do not see.

Faltering, singing about what I do not feel,
duels of lost souls, deafening and denied loves.
Fragrant miracles, thrown into the pompous flow of the days.
I would like to lie down in a bed of immense, but I keep
stareing at this square. Your call, far away in the wind.



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Hi @f3nix! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @brisby!

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Le tue poesie sono sempre una sfida per me, perché sono stratificate di significanti e significati come una millefoglie alla crema carsolina. Bisogna affrontarle con calma e rileggerle più e più volte per assorbirne tutto il senso.
Mi sono sentito molte volte in uno stato d'animo simile, con la voglia di esprimere qualcosa di oscuro e profondo con le mie parole, pur sapendo che ero dotato di strumenti insufficienti a sondare l'infinito-indefinito che potevo solo intuire flebilmente. Eppure, anche solo quella piccola scintilla di intuizione, già fuggita appena sperimentata, mi sconvolgeva per la vastità dell'insondabile, e mi lasciava disperato con le mie quattro parole in croce, assolutamente inadatte.
Mi fa molto piacere scoprire che anche un'altra persona, con un altro arsenale semantico, sperimenti la stessa cosa.
P.S. non ti vergognare mai di quello che scrivi; conosco anche questa sensazione, ma è importante superarla per cercare il confronto e la lettura degli altri. Continua così!

Grazie per le tue parole, devo dire che è davvero incredibile la piega che ha preso la nostra amicizia grazie a questo strumento. Sono molto contento :-P

I am always at a loss for words when you seem to have never-ending words that I never even knew existed. What you see or are not able to see, is the same as to what you do not feel: "Moving the wheel, from the black orb, a basin of what I do not see." Incredible how you did that.

Thank you so much for your support! This poetry took me three evenings of work and it's been definitely more complicate than the short story I'm planning to write (maybe I could have started with that). Especially, it started in a completely different way and it evolved after around this scene of a village feast in its ending.. My concern is that in the English version you won't find: metrics, sounds, vocabulary (as in its original language I made some specific word choices). If you still like it, then you made my day 😁

Your time and effort was well worth it. The English version was perfect for me so you made my day as well! : )

Thanks always, my feline friend <3

Truly beautiful imagery and intense sensory detail. I can see the dispersed crowd and feel the atmosphere of celebration.
This line is very emotive:

smiles at this last inebriated shipwreck of sounds.

Another favorite line:

The dawn has already kissed your hem,
I lay here, resting on the well's humid marble.

I can feel this, both the marble and lingering feelings. Well written @f3nix!

I played for several years as guitarist of a choir...we toured around north Italy and when they were drunk I can assure you that you could never follow them with the instrument, they were simply too tuned for their shipwrecked voices :-P Thank you again for your opinion dearest!

I'd quote a favorite line but I doubt you want me responding to you with your entire poem... tip!
I feel like a hollowed water jug from reading this. Beautifully crafted but, emptied, full only of echoes.

Well, I'm sorry if you feel like that but, in a way, I immensely appreciate your sincerity. This poetry, in fact, is not aimed to provide a nice feeling and so it means I reached my goal. The point of this poem is to portray the struggle of trying to sing what can only be guessed but not felt. Sometimes I wish I could cry but I don't have tears. You Brisby always amaze me for your empathy, it's incredible.

I would like to know whom you have killed and where you have dumped the bodies.

Only when you will tell me about the script you're writing! I think I had a bad digestion that day.

You are gifted with words!

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