Welcome! This is fantastic. I could relate to you on many levels and I too had your "There was no rules about when we had to come home at night because there are basically no dangers in this place, just a lot of beautiful nature". I grew up in a tiny Christian intentional community, but I developed shame and guilt in the same way as you describe.
It sounds like you're really starting to discover many great things about yourself and life itself. What a nice soul you are.
Thank you for your reply stellabelle! Maybe there are many of us out there! Parents who are raising children in these environments should be very alert to what is going on with their children. To much solitude and independence leaves the kids alone with their imature imagination and crazy thoughts of all kind. It is not so healthy psychologically.