"I wasn’t just selling drugs anymore, I was robbing and stealing. Sure, I wanted the money, but I really wanted the respect. " and "I became a tyrannical megalomaniac, ruthless on my endless chase for more money and more power. These guys had been my friends, now I treated them like inferiors." And I think your most powerful statement is this:
"I found that saving lives is a lot more emotionally rewarding to me than destroying them."

Well, I realize now that I am on Steemit searching for something, namely this story. Wow, you definitely have enough material for a book, a very good one. You can publish it here on Steemit, of course.
I am a bit speechless, and even though our paths are very different with you see and engaging in horrific violence from the sounds of it, we are on similarly aligned courses. A lot of my previous energy was selfish in motivation: getting drunk, getting high, etc., and I disregarded the enormous potential around me due to cowardice. Every day seems a struggle between selfish desires and the desire to lift up those around us. Even now, I feel this struggle. It appears though, that you have seen the extremes, and know exactly what course provides the most rewards. Thank you for writing your story. It's extremely fascinating.