My INTP Personality

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How many of you have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test?
I did, and it was decided that out of 16 acronyms, I fall under the category of INTP.
For those of you who don't know, INTP stands for Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, Perception. I am in the third percentile of the entire earth (tested) personality wise. That means that out of everyone who's ever subjugated themselves to these tests, only 3% of us are INTPs. (Coincidentally, growing up I was in the 3rd percentile for height too; but that's completely unrelated)

While reading up on my "personality type" a couple things have become clear to me:

1. I am NOT living up to my potential. Some famous INTPs include Socrates, Einstein, Darwin, Abe Lincoln, so on and so forth... Yet here I am, The single parent of 3 kids who recently quit her bartending job....
2. This is why I've felt alone my entire life! It was never easy for me to make friends. I'm socially awkward and say the weirdest shit to people. I can count on one hand how many people from my childhood I've kept in contact with. Hell, I can count on one hand how many social interactions I have (on purpose) per month!

Relationships have always been a sore spot for me, whether friendships or romantically. Mainly trying to find someone capable of dealing with me swinging between a lack of emotion and an overabundance. I am self-centered but thoughtful; detached yet passionate, greedy and giving.... I'm confusing! How can I expect to find a partner who's willing and able to be both dominate AND submissive; and most importantly knows when to assert which. I give myself about a 3% chance of finding that guy before I'm dead lol :')

Now, having read all about my specific personality type, you'd think I could find ways to make changes to the way I interact with others. I've even made lists and diagrams to show myself the traits I'd like to improve and the ones I'd like to weed out. Most days I go to bed intending to be a different person in the morning; yet I wake up as me EVERY SINGLE TIME. Frustrating, I know.

How can I convince others to 'like' me if I don't even like myself half the time?
The simple fact is I can't. I cannot change the way others perceive me and I shouldn't want to. The only humans on this planet whose opinions truly matter to me are my children's. If they can love me just as I am then so can I.

If you've read this far I've gotta give you props, because I really don't know what my intention was with this post. I just started writing and this is what I landed on. It's currently 3AM and I am sure when I read this in the morning my fresh and rested brain is going to have a buttload of critiques on the how and why of this post, but for now I think I'm done.

Thank you for reading!!!