My 1st week on STEEMIT: What am I going for - Money or freedom to be myself?

My first week on Steemit. Wow. That was a very interesting experience. Especially how I found myself being disctracted again. From being my true self. By money. Success. Fame. How could I? I guess, there are still some lessons to learn. Not a superhuman yet. But I like to think I am.

Steemit?! I'm free!

When I heard about Steemit I got very excited about the concept. Earning money by being creatively free. Doing whatever I want and getting paid. Apart from that adding value to a community. Inspiring people. And all of that online. Without being dependent on a certain location. Amazing.

What else could you ask for?! Free in every way. And at the same time heading towards financial freedom as well. Perfect. That sounds like the best plan ever.

Trying to be someone else

Not. I found myself in researching what is the best way how to make the most amount of money in the shortest time on here. Which, I guess, was the goal of a lot of people who started on here. Forgive me if I'm wrong. At least that was my thought. And I researched and came upon a girl who did an amazing job in starting out here. @theaudgirl.

She was my example. My role model how to start out. And I tried my best to structure my first post according to hers. To get the same attention. The same amount of money. The same response. The same welcome. Of course it's always good to follow and learn from people who have done it already.

But what I noticed was that I was mostly focused on how to do it like her. Yes, I still had my own style of writing in it. And yes, the video I made was my own nature and humor. But the whole post wasn't truly created from what was wanting to come out of me in that moment.

Should I publish my deepest thoughts?

"Waaaaait! Hold on! What are you talking about?" Haha, see that's what's going on in my mind. Now. When I started blogging last November it was just flowing out of me. I was writing without stopping and rethinking and just letting every word drop onto the page. Without censoring. Without backpedalling.

Which I'm doing right now with this article quite a bit, too, because I'm still afraid of putting it all out there. Onto this new platform. I "officially" entered this week. And I almost feel like not publishing this.

I believe I'm not the only one

But what makes me keep writing is that I believe I'm not the only one with those thoughts. And that if I can share this and other people read it that they might feel encouraged to be their true self as well.

Even though it's sometimes hard to be it. Haha. I guess my whole life story is following this one goal. Becoming my truest self.

Acting helped me to find access to my real self

That's why I started with acting. 6 years ago. Of course, I didn't know that this was the reason at that time. But I felt a deeper urge for overcoming this fear of being in the spotlight. Getting all the attention. I hated it as a kid. I was shy, timid, anxious and very quiet. The worst thing for an actor on stage. Haha. But I started with it. And it was the best decision I could have made.

To come out of my shell and bring out the real me.

Promise to listen to my real self in the future

So what I noticed this week was that I lost the connection to my real me again. And I apologize to myself and to the steemit community. And to avoid this in the future, I want to promise with this post that I will stay true to myself and the community from now on.

Because even though money seems like a very attractive thing to have at first glance, the most precious thing to have in life is the freedom to be yourself.

Thanks for reading.