THE "I" BEHIND THE LOST

First of all I want to send a cordial greeting to the community of Steemit it's an honor to finally be here

the prelude to this introduction is expressed in the vibrations that I currently have ... I am 19 years old, I am from Caracas Venezuela since I was little, I was very interested in the subject of making art, of going against what a society says, asks, reads, creates. The world since I remember is a curious place: dangerous, funny and big, but it weighs me down; I had never found a place here. I did not know exactly what I wanted since the progress of my life was forming, and I didn't know what to do with the constant question of "want do you want to do with your life", and then, I began to experiment with several things (you know those discoveries that you achieve in the youth) but I couldnt find a place. My relationship with my mom was distant. My parents are audiovisual artists, my dad is a cameraman of events, concerts, conferences and my mom is a photographer, screenwriter and editor; and they had a company of the same medium.

-Love is what I feel right now. But it turns out that the situation in the country is a very big problem for each artist. The first 2 years that I started to dedicate to photography were great! I attended concerts, performance events and some paid photo sessions. I felt I was discovering myself, but in one of those events I met 2 theater actresses, who invited me to the school they attended and I went as a documentary photographer to cover each festival they had, and I realized it was a school of cinematographic arts! Without thinking it twice, I signed up. I started a third stage of my life "The university". In the first month of the career, I knew that cinema was what I really wanted to do. I wanted to direct, to create stories since I was little. The cinema is a great portal to escape from the reality, but I never knew that you could live on it. At the same time I was in college, I began to do experimental film, by making a big work team, boom operators, director of photography, casting director, producers (who weren't from the university, they were people who had already worked in large productions: Films, series, and they saw that striking project)!

The images are from the short film "CACHIVACHE" in the following post, I will show more of that material and the final result

Everything was great until I was the victim of my first robbery (actually it was like my fourth robbery), but this time I had several audiovisual equipment, I had the equipments because I was going to document a film with other colleagues, and when I arrived at the place where they were going to pick me up; I saw 2 guys who shouted at me, next thing I remember one of them raised his gun and I saw the reflection of this and I inmediately thought: "Well, this is it". I decided to stay still and not run, then the other guy pointed me in the head, and he said with an annoying voice "Do not move or I'll blow your head up here". I just said " take everything" and they took the bag where the equipments were.

Then they shouted "go for another street" and I had no choice, but to return to my house (I was in another state, so I went to the subway station but it was closed and I ended up sleeping there until the next day) It was a very bad experience but in the end it was that, an experience. Time passed and, in view of the situation of the country, getting worse more and more, it also worsened the university, that in fact closed, because of the lack of students and the high monthly costs. I stopped studying in the third semester of the career, and I had almost to material (equipments and stuff) to continue working with the independent films (at least I still had my personal camera to take pictures and I had some friends to film with his team). There were projects for international film festivals, but that was for a short time and the vibes were negative, the fact of being without studying, without working, because the situation didn't allow it (in fact, it still doesn't) and within all that discovery, I realized that I began to experience great emotional instability: I was leaving in half the filmings, I did not want to eat, I left scripts unfinished, I was tired, I was angry to see so many deaths, so many robberies, so much misfortune. I felt that with this I couldn't do anything, I cried for no reason, I felt that I was back at the starting point.

So then, I was left in "constant decline", family, friends, teachers began to leave the country (because the situation didn't allow them to have a dignified and decent life), the entire audiovisual movement was dying and I run out of work material, this has been the greater instability and depression that I had experienced in my short life. He began to be "me" behind the lost. and that led me to create writings that indicate
that I will leave them next:

THE "I" BEHIND THE LOST is the initial manifesto of what I think I am, thank you all for reading this first post. Soon I will upload more material on the comments..!