I can really identify with this. It took me a while to realize why I was so unhappy. My overt niceness and my inherent compulsion to please others left me completely vulnerable and eventually led me to resent those closest to me. Thankfully, after a lot of struggle, leading to self-awareness, and some badly needed personal growth, I'm a much more contented person these days. Because of this, I'm less of an asshole. I'm still a bit of an asshole, though. But, aren't we all?