Interesting thoughts. I had a discussion yesterday with a friend about her KOAJ boyfriend... seems insecurity fuels a lot of KOAJ's KOAJ-ness. What's really a method of self-preservation (via sarcasm, backhanded compliments, etc) creates a perpetual cycle of mistrust and shame between KOAJ and KOAJ's deeply desired friends making both parties retreat inwardly.. further propelling KOAJ to KOAJ status.

I'm of the philosophy that the 5 people you spend the most time with shape who you are, and most people don't want to be 20% asshole. Perhaps KOAJ should work on their communication skills :)

Good luck to you friend! Well written piece, I enjoyed it a lot.