Hi bigpay,

first of all I think it's great that you're taking responsability for not achieving your goals. Secondly, I congratulate you to your endurance.

However, you really should find a mentor. Find someone who already has succeeded! Your introduction video shows that you're clearly improvising what you're saying without much practice before submitting the final version. It means you don't work hard or take this seriously. Every bit of content you put your name under is going to affect your reputation. So far I am not impressed, and don't let the backscratchers in the comments here let you get overconfident. What you need is truth, not just happy talk. Find what your passion is, see if you're actually good enough at it to make it work IF you put in lots of practice, and then you just might succeed. This video is rather the opposite of what I just described. Best of luck to you anyway, I wish you success. Just know it won't come without hard, hard work.