Do you struggle or suffer from low self-esteem? Do you let people walk all over you, and allow people to treat you with disrespect? It may be hard for some to believe, but a good majority of people feel this way about themselves.
Where Does Low Self Esteem Come From?
Why would someone have low enough self-esteem to let someone else walk all over them and treat them like crap? There are many reasons for this, but the biggest reason I can think of is because most people feel like they don’t deserve better.
Perhaps a rough childhood or parenting has caused their subconscious mind to believe they aren’t good enough and they deserve what they get, which is also what they allow themselves to receive.
The Importance of Forgiveness
Sometimes people also have a very difficult time forgiving themselves for things they have done in the past, thus causing them to believe they deserve all the pain and misfortune that comes their way.
So how does one stop this incredibly damaging thought process and way of thinking? Forgiveness is the first step, and probably most important step of letting go of painful memories. Forgiveness of others and most importantly, forgiveness of yourself.
No One Is Perfect
We are all humans and we all make mistakes. No one on the planet is, or has ever been, perfect. When we make a mistake that hurts ourselves or someone we care about, we must be able to forgive ourselves and move on.
If someone else hurts us deeply, we must be able to forgive the other person as well. It can be extremely challenging sometimes, but when we hang on to anger and regret, we are hanging onto the past. When we hang onto the past, we are not able to live in the moment.
What’s The Point?
The whole point of life is to be able to live in the moment and live life to its fullest. Only then can we achieve our true potential. So stop living in the past, let go of all the anger from everyone that’s hurt you, and start focusing on the present.
You will become a much happier person if you start to live this way.
I feel that there may be one other reason why people may be treated badly, and it doesn't have to do with self-esteem. Some people are so kind that their kindness might be mistaken for weakness.
What such people need to be, in my opinion, is both kind and assertive—provide value for others without letting others take advantage of them.
This is a good point too! It doesn't always stem from low self esteem. Some people are too nice, and that can be a flaw if they don't know how to stand up for themselves in necessary situations.
Great article but so many factors go into causing this and so many ways of learning from it and being able to move on from it.
Things that have helped me include Buddhism, ageing, experience, self reflection.
Once you have decided you are going to improve your self-esteem, confidence, I think you will find lots of different ways to do it and it will become easier and easier as the journey goes on.
Making the decision to improve it is often the hardest part. But we're always learning and growing and no one is perfect.