How did I fall in love with my dark-complexion?

On the outside , generally Indian community are homogeneously consisted of brown ,dusky and dark complexioned. On the inside, people ranged their complexions from too dark to too white. I would say it is such a misfortune that this diversity had created the hierarchy of beauty where fair complexioned are considered as the epitome of beauty and superiors and dark complexioned are put at the bottom part and treated as inferiors. I didn’t aware of this division when I was in primary school because I studied in a Tamil school where most of the students were looked pretty much same.

As I progressed to secondary school in my area things started to take a toll. During my first day of the school, fair complexioned girls refused to sit next to me because they were afraid my dark colour will stick to them and they will become dark as well.From day one itself everyday my classmates were ridiculing my colour; called me names ;cracked jokes about my colour; did things I wish not to recall . Those incidents occurred in my school really shook my confidence and my self-esteem.

The most embarrassing moment that I’ve faced was during photo shoot for my school magazine where one of the student from the editorial team commented that once the photo is printed in the magazine the only thing people able to see is my teeth. That remark has ripped off my self-esteem completely.Since then I hate to take pictures of myself even selfies (even now I don’t like to take a selfie).Throughout my secondary school years I purposely went and hide myself in the school library during lunch breaks as it was my sole place of escapism.I hated to go out and I hated to go to school. I was wishing that my parents would allow me to change my school after the public examination. For that sake I studied hard and hid my nose under the books most of the time so that my grades are good enough to move to a better school.

I aced in my public examination and I managed to move to a better school. Unfortunately things didn’t change at all. However I made some “so called friends”. (they only come to me whenever they need help). Iwas kind of grateful that at least I have some friends now even though they are “ so called friends” compared to my previous school where I was alone and invisible. .At the same time, at the same I put on some masks to hide my roots. I started to detach myself from my culture. I told people that I didn’t know anything about my culture I belonged to so that they could think I was just like them. At every chance I could, I tried withdrawing my affiliation with my culture (Thinking about it now, I realized how stupid I was) .Back then I wished that I would born light skinned so that I can be beautiful and I dont have to go through this shit.

Back then TV advertisements for fair creams is all about if you are dark, you are not going to get a job, you will fail to get the man of your dreams and you will rot yourself to hell. The idea was if you are not fair, you will fail. Trust me back then, I was worried whether I can make to the university despite the fact that I am a top student but I'm dark.

If there is anything that TV did good to me was the Oprah Winfrey Show. I watched it on every afternoon after school. I thought if I had enough guts and self esteem I could have just pulled off the golden glittery top just like Oprah did. The last two years of my school I started to work on self esteem, I started to participate in debate club and voiced out my point of view. I kept a journal and started to write to about my perspective and dreams. My contributions to the debate club were so immense where we reached until the finals of the state level debate competition. People started to notice me not just a mere Indian girl but also as a confident, strong and proud Indian girl. The process made me realize that my roots are not something to be ashamed of. Its a part of who I am in the physical world. Denying my roots are equal to denying my existence. It restored the confidence in me. Throughout the journey I learnt that not being ashamed is the first step gearing towards complete confidence of one self,one’s bones and one’s flesh.

Now I am 24 years old.I made to the university. I am also a recipient of one of the prestigious scholarship of the country.However I still met people with those kind of mentality in my university as well.Once I was remarked by a course mate that I have a beautiful feature and body but I am too dark to wear a bright coloured clothes . The next morning I wore a bright coloured top and walked right pass her like a boss (hell yeah!!!!!!). Throughout my university days I’ve impressed many lecturers with my ability,skills and my work.I even graduated my university with CGPA of 3.9. Trust me colour has nothing to do with it.

I proud of the way my dark colour glistens in the sun.I proud of how my golden eye shadow compliments my skin and my eyes.I am proud the way on how I can pull of any coloured outfit just like that. For all my bossy relatives who commented on my colour, I'm not worried about getting a man who is obsessed with getting a fair complexioned bride.I see the beauty in my dark complexion. I can see the natural contour on my skin and I'm not afraid of being in the sun for hours as my skin is rich in melanin and I definitely don’t need a tan. I see myself as a strong,bold, smart woman who is constantly fighting with the society’s discrimination and prejudice and still can shine bright like a diamond.

Hence,I bid a good farewell to fairness creams,powder, skin lightening techniques,bleaching treatments and nosy relatives who are obsessed in getting fair brides for their sons. I'm in love my dark complexion and nothing can stop me from loving it. If pharmaceutical companies can come up with creams for dark complexioned people to make them white but can the same company can come up with medicine to cure their own prejudicial mentality?