I wonder maybe if I was skinny and pretty I would not be so afraid. So anxious all the time. Afraid of the way people look at me like they are judging me. Like when I am surrounded by many other people they will somehow make me drown. I hate it. I wonder if anyone feels this way. Scared to be out in the open for the awful feeling of being bare. Being naked against a world that judges you so hard and so deep, until there is nothing left of you. Like every time you lose a piece of yourself and you can't get it back.
Maybe if I was normal I would never feel that way.
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