I won't try to deal with all the errors in this humorous but flawed analysis.

1. LLC won't protect from criminal conspiracy charges. Courts often look behind the corporate veil even in civil cases these days and in criminal matters there is no veil at all.

2. While community is the ultimate source of value of any currency the law does not recognise people as assets (slavery was banned long ago). In contrast things like exchange listings, coin name, retained marketing IP, retained founder support, retained web front ends etc ARE recognised by the law as determinative of which is the existing asset and which is the new one in the case of real forks like Steem / Hive. The IRS has even published something confirming this.

3. A "fork" that just changes the code of an existing blockchain without there being two genuinely continuing blockchains being run separately is NOT A FORK AT ALL in legal terms (and normal usage of the English language). It is just a code change to an existing blockchain.

4. You should always have a lawyer negotiate your contractor agreements for you with particular attention to IP clauses like the one you extracted above. I've negotiated 100s of such contracts in my time and I always limit over-broad IP ownership clauses. Perhaps if you were nicer to lawyers you wouldn't get shafted so much :-)