Aw, this is so sad. You gave him everything you had and it just wasn't meant to be. At least he got to spend his last days in your loving home and arms and it is better than to have him suffer. I always say there is a reason for everything; maybe one day you will know that reason or maybe not. Believe this in your heart and it may help.
I got a puppy who had Parvo (not knowing it at the time) and my experience was similar to yours.
I pray that you continue to heal and will be able to concentrate more on the joy that you gave to each other. Many hugs my friend!
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It was so sad. I am glad I am feeling better about it now. It affected me sooooo deeply that I will probably never be able to have a baby goat again. Haha. And bottle feeding animals is suuuuch a pain, it's hard to distance yourself emotionally when you have to be up ever few hours to make sure they're fed. It was so difficult to go thru this because he was so up and down, perfect one day, and down the next. Rough stuff for sure!
I try to tell myself things like that but mostly I continue to ask "why did this have to happen to me on the first livestock animal I tried? Why couldn't I just have a win, for once?" -- Obviously, I am still healing. hahah.