Good for you!!
I know butchering is a difficult and unpleasant task, but it does get easier over time. When I started out, it was awful and I didnt know if I could do it, but now it is another job to do. No, I dont forget the value of the life I am taking, but I am now able to eat chicken the same day I butcher. (Something I could not do before.) Just like everything in life worth doing, practice makes, if not perfect, well, proficient. And raising fresh meat is definitely worth doing. :)
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Indeed, I am much more appreciative of the life I take to sustain my own, including the plant life. My husband and I call vegans "plant haters" and it is only half a joke.