I believe that him being dependant on you makes it all the harder. I've just experienced a similar loss. I've had many deaths over my time raising animals, but none have hit me as hard as this one. It's almost like losing a child; that dependence and unconditional love they have for you.
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I am so sorry I didn't see your reply before!! You're right, them relying on us makes it soooo hard, you just get hooked right in. I am so sorry you went through the same thing I did with your loss. It sounds like it affected you as much as it affected me. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me.
Don't worry about it. If you've been anything like me your head is all over the place. I hope you're starting to feel a little better and remembering more of the good moments.