Oh no! That is unbelievably bad. And some would tell you that it didn't happen like that. Or you are right. "He's still your father." As if we owe them something. The good intentions advice does do more harm than good. How could anyone understand what it is like, as you said? How can an adult completely ignore his own child? As you and I know, it happens. And it wreaks havoc on our own lives until we accept that we were never the problem. I feel like an orphan even though my parents are both living. My choice, but one I had to make to keep my sanity and probably even save my life.