** WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TITLE?! I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW**

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I don't really like posting my dramas' online, but I really need to get this sh=t off my chest. If you happen to get here, please bear with me. It's gonna be a very long life rant and confessions.

PART I:

Just a quick background, I am turning 24 this coming November, and currently living with my parents, Unemployed.

So, Yeah. This year, I had a gambling relapse. which really f-cked me real good. I managed to quit for a year or two and now I'm back to zero, again. I quit all my socials to minimize the urge and decided to only watch youtube videos, but dang! youtubers gambling keeps appearing and appearing every single crazy day! Now I don't have any place to go other than here.

Anyway, back to the main topic. Now all my bad decisions are hunting me every single goddamn night. thinking, you know, maybe if I didn't do these and that I won't be in a situation like this. yeah, I'm having some suicide thoughts, but still tolerable.

now the plan is to take my pride back, find jobs, upskill, and also learn to write a good sentences. that's all. Thanks for listening to my TEDHive Talk