Imagine my surprise to come out of prison only to find the whole fucking Steemit community fractured in a race war.
What the fuck happened?
I hope I can be accepted here on Hive, but I have to be honest with ya’ll, I’m not 100% white. This has always been a problem for me, I was actually kicked out of the Klan for having a black grandma so I want to come clean now, because I don’t want to be accused of misrepresenting myself, again.
Shit!... I barely escaped the Klan lynching, the only thing that saved my ass was my lucky jean-shorts and the Grand Monk’s germaphobia. When him and his Ghouls lifted me up to the rope, my fucking bowels released, blasting them with liquid tex-mex and we all came crashing down and I managed to get away.
You know, after all these years those judgemental assholes still send me messages on Facebook like nothing ever happened, wanting me to check out their new grill and to show off their cooking skills with pictures of the perfect hot dogs that spell out KKK.
Fuck their racist fucking Klan dogs!
Imagine having to sit through their wacky meetings just for a place to sleep, a few slices of pizza and some warm beer, although they did have some of the craziest lot lizards that I ever saw, but them gals were the type of dirty that penicillin couldn’t even clean up, just ask @ned about it.
Ugh… My shit still ain’t pissin straight!
So anyways, two years ago when I got released from Federal Prison, I was struggling like ya’ll wouldn’t believe, I had burnt every bridge at the local soup kitchens and then on chilli night I got banned for trying to get seconds while wearing black-face. Afterward, I began posting on Steemit for food, but those jealous assholes wouldn’t vote on any of my posts, instead they flagged me and I began to starve.
To make a long story short, I was so hungry I ended up doing a lot of purse snatching, but then I pushed my luck when one of those girls turned out to be a dude. I honestly thought the Gay Pride Parade would be easy pickins, but imagine my surprise when the cops told me that I got beat down by a gang of transgenders.
So yeah! I violated my parole and the whole fucking prison heard about the beating and began calling me “bish-boy!”
Ugh!… I don’t want talk about this anymore, because it’s very upsetting!!!
So anyways, I got released in February, but now with corona killing folks, I can’t even panhandle for food, so I’m expecting some votes!
Try not to think about how much better I am at writing than you, set that jealousy aside and try to remember that I’m struggling. What you’re not seeing is that I’m literally pouring my heart and soul into the keyboard, with a level of honesty that you will luckily never have to endure.
Let’s show Daniel Son that Hive supports and encourages great writers!
Please do the right thing, Vote and Subscribe!