It May Have Been An Accident, But It Still Hurts

in Home Edders3 months ago

Learning is a lifelong pursuit. I believe that learning is not bounded by time or location. Many times, you find lessons in unexpected places and at unpredictable times. I learned (perhaps still learning) my most recent lesson at the lake!

A Family Vacation

For several years, a generous family member has gifted my family his lake house for a week. This week, away from our regular routine, has become one of our favorite times of the year together as a family.

Every year, we look forward to sitting on the dock, playing in the water, trips to a local tourist spot, and extra family game time. These are just a few of the things we look forward to. We have also enjoyed riding around on a wave runner for the last two years.

Speeding around the lake brings some excitement into this 40-plus-year-old body of mine. There is something exciting about mastering the waves and soliciting joyful giggles and squeals from my kiddos. My youngest (and only son) especially enjoyed riding around on the wave runner this year. He is embracing his adventurous side more and more. Already, he is longing for more adventure.

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Image by Matt Hardy from Pixabay

Father and Protector

I don't recall having the same desire that I see in him. As a father, I want to protect my children while helping them find a way to do dangerous things safely. Sounds a bit paradoxical, doesn't it?

The world is not a safe place. Danger lurks around every corner. But living in a bubble, trying to hide from all the world has to offer, is not fulfilling.

It is challenging to find the balance between going full-speed ahead and teaching a reverence for harnessing the wild and untamed.

Chathartic Writing


As I write, I am filled with many emotions. I am tired but can't sleep. I am hurt and have not found peace (at least not yet). I keep sensing the waves of the turbulent lake, even though I am 203.1 miles away from our vacation destination. My mind keeps racing back to that moment - the accident I caused.

I Hope I Am Not Being Overly Dramatic


Before anyone gets too worried, everyone in my household safely sleeps tonight in their beds. But there was an accident on the last full day of our vacation.

As I mentioned earlier, I was enjoying the thrill. My kiddos were, too. But the problem is that one sharp turn on a wave runner, followed by another, creates a great force.

This force caused one of my daughters to fly off the back of the wave runner. At that moment, I immediately regretted looking for the next adrenaline fix. It was an accident, but it would have consequences.

One Accident. Many People Impacted

My daughter, who was thrown off the wave runner, was impacted most. She sustained a cut over her left eyebrow and a bump to the head. It was an accident, but I ache inside, knowing I was the cause.

My wife was impacted. She lovingly took care of the wound while I prepared for an ER trip. She finally fell victim to the nausea once the first wave of adrenaline faded. It was an accident, but the impact is spreading.

Another daughter was terrified by the whole ordeal. She was scared for her sister. She was frightened by the blood and the rushed cadence of the moment. It was an accident, but my whole family was impacted, and I started the domino effect.

Great Care Given


I am deeply grateful for the medical team that treated my daughter's injury. They were professional and thorough in explaining the next steps.

On the ride home, my daughter was ready to open up more. She was no longer in shock and no longer in fear of the possibility of stitches. She hates needles!

One of the most extraordinary acts of care was shown to me. After repeatedly saying I was sorry, my daughter looked at me and said, "It's ok. You don't have to say sorry anymore."

What sweet, kind words from a wonderful, maturing young lady. I am blessed by her words, but I am still holding things in. Her words are the lesson, but I have not been able to get to a place where I can take those words and live them out.

Lessons I Am Working Through

Here are some of the things I am still working through personally.

  1. Although I did not do anything intentionally to harm someone else, I want my words to express my sincere regret for the harm my decision caused.
  2. I don't want an accident, obstacle, or challenge to prevent me or others from living life to the fullest.
  3. As a family, I don't want anyone to automatically default to running away from danger. Sometimes, we have to stand up to danger, and we need to figure out how to do that safely.
  4. Even when I fail, I want my family to know I want what is best for them.
  5. When someone has forgiven me, I need to figure out how to forgive myself.

Final Thoughts

Home education is less about a specific location and more about families trying to find opportunities to learn in every day (often dangerous) moments. How we face these opportunities as adults will guide our children's responses when they face similar challenges in the future.

It was an accident. I cannot promise that there won't be more accidents in the future. But I will do my best not to be defined by one moment in my life. I will do my best to be a role model worth following.

@sumatranate

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When our mistakes cause pain to our loved ones they are the hardest to forgive ourselves for. My eldest was has two scars from what I feel was me not being diligent enough in my child proofing of things. One was a hot iron I thought I'd put out of her way, but she was more resourceful than I realised. It only burnt her finger thankfully. The other was a loose brick on the wall outside. Like her father, if you tell her not to touch something, she will make sure to touch it. 😅 That second was a bleeding toenail that wouldn't stop bleeding and needed a trip to the hospital to lance the blood blister under her nail. She has a split looking nail now because half of it came off.

So true. So true

When our mistakes cause pain to our loved ones they are the hardest to forgive ourselves for.

Thankfully, my daughter is doing well now (I am, too). Thanks for sharing your similar experiences. Sometimes, it is nice to know that, as parents, we are not alone - in both the good things and the challenges.

What a great, yet scary, lesson to learn! I'm so glad that everyone is okay, but it is tough to live through it in the moment! I am sure you all learned from the experience, but praise God that no one was seriously injured.

Praise God, indeed! It was very hard at the moment, and for several days, my daughter needed extra rest and sleep. Things are much better now!

Yesterday, she seemed to return to normal (being her usual self). That was a sweet blessing!

If they got to adulthood without any bumps or scrapes or stitches, then you were bad parents.

No bumps or bruises means no excitement or adventure. I don't want my children to think they must live in a bubble-wrapped world. My job is to prepare them for the adventure that awaits them, not cause them to not want to seek it.

If at any point, I have hurt someone, I will believe in their response, I wouldn't stop to say sorry, and when I do and they response to me, that it is alright, I will honor their words and then forgive myself also, a sincere heart can not harm a person, it's great that a good medical team attend to her and she is feeling fine, continue to have a good time 🥰🙏

I agree that it is crucial to accept someone's forgiveness. Sometimes, it is hard, but it is very important.

As I have been reflecting on your comment, I realize that if I don't accept forgiveness well, then I might be a bad example for my children. I want them to fully believe they are forgiven when someone offers forgiveness.

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