La Disciplina Positiva: No es "Permisividad", es Conexión// Positive Discipline: It's not "Permissiveness", it's Connection

in Home Edderslast month (edited)


FUENTE

Muchas veces, cuando escuchamos hablar de "Disciplina Positiva" (DP), la primera imagen que nos viene a la mente es la de niños que hacen lo que quieren y padres que no imponen límites. ¿Es esto cierto? Absolutamente no. La DP no es sinónimo de permisividad; es una filosofía de crianza que busca un equilibrio fundamental: firmeza y amabilidad al mismo tiempo.

La meta no es el castigo, sino la enseñanza. Queremos que nuestros hijos hagan lo correcto incluso cuando no estamos mirando.

Often, when we hear about "Positive Discipline" (PD), the first image that comes to mind is of children doing whatever they want and parents who don't set limits. Is this true? Absolutely not. PD is not synonymous with permissiveness; it's a parenting philosophy that seeks a fundamental balance: firmness and kindness at the same time.

The goal is not punishment, but teaching. We want our children to do the right thing even when we're not looking.

I. ¿Qué es realmente la Disciplina Positiva?

  • No es castigo ni recompensa: La DP se centra en soluciones a largo plazo en lugar de consecuencias punitivas (castigos) o sobornos (recompensas).

  • Se basa en el respeto mutuo: Trata a los niños con la misma dignidad y respeto que tratarías a un adulto, sin renunciar a tu rol de líder y guía.

  • Enfoque en la conexión: Entiende que un niño que se porta "mal" es un niño que se siente desanimado o que aún no ha desarrollado la habilidad necesaria para manejar una situación. Antes de corregir, hay que conectar.

  • Meta a largo plazo: Enseñar habilidades de vida esenciales: responsabilidad, respeto, gestión emocional y solución de problemas.

I. What is Positive Discipline, Really?

  • It's neither punishment nor reward: Positive Discipline focuses on long-term solutions rather than punitive consequences (punishments) or bribes (rewards).

  • It's based on mutual respect: Treat children with the same dignity and respect you would give an adult, without relinquishing your role as leader and guide.

  • It focuses on connection: Understand that a child who misbehaves is a child who feels discouraged or hasn't yet developed the necessary skills to handle a situation. Before correcting, connect with them.


II. Herramientas Prácticas de la Disciplina Positiva

1. Conexión antes de la Corrección (Los famosos 5 minutos)

  • En qué consiste: Cuando el niño está en crisis o portándose mal, la parte lógica de su cerebro está apagada. Debes conectar emocionalmente con él antes de intentar corregir.

  • Cómo aplicarlo: Bájate a su altura, míralo a los ojos y valida su emoción primero. Ejemplo: "Veo que estás muy enojado porque se acabó la hora del juego. Es frustrante." (Conexión) Ahora, busquemos una solución. (Corrección)

2. Las Preguntas de Curiosidad (Orientadas a la Solución)

  • En qué consiste: En lugar de dar sermones o culpar, haz preguntas que inviten al niño a pensar en las consecuencias y las soluciones.

  • Cómo aplicar: Frente a un error:
    "¿Qué pasó?" (Descripción)
    "¿Cómo te sientes al respecto?" (Emoción)
    "¿Qué puedes hacer para arreglarlo?" (Solución)
    "¿Qué podrías hacer diferente la próxima vez?" (Aprendizaje)

3. El Tiempo Fuera Positivo (El Espacio de la Calma)

  • En qué consiste: No es un castigo de aislamiento, sino un lugar diseñado por el niño (con cojines, libros, peluches) para que aprenda a autorregularse.

  • Cómo aplicar: Enséñale a usarlo cuando no está en crisis. Cuando la crisis llega, pregunta: "Parece que necesitas ir a tu espacio de la calma para sentirte mejor. ¿Quieres que te acompañe?"

II. Practical Tools of Positive Discipline

1. Connection Before Correction (The Famous 5 Minutes)

  • What it consists of: When a child is having a meltdown or misbehaving, the logical part of their brain is shut down. You must connect with them emotionally before attempting to correct them.

  • How to apply it: Get down to their level, look them in the eyes, and validate their emotion first. Example: "I see you're very upset because playtime is over. It's frustrating." (Connection) Now, let's find a solution. (Correction)

2. Solution-Oriented Questions of Curiosity

  • What it consists of: Instead of lecturing or blaming, ask questions that encourage the child to think about the consequences and solutions.

  • How to apply it: When faced with a mistake:
    "What happened?" (Description)
    "How do you feel about it?" (Emotion)
    "What can you do to fix it?" (Solution)
    "What could you do differently next time?" (Learning)

3. Positive Time Out (The Calm Space)

  • What it is: It's not a punishment of isolation, but a space designed by the child (with cushions, books, stuffed animals) where they can learn self-regulation.

  • How to use it: Teach them to use it when they're not having a meltdown. When a meltdown occurs, ask: "It seems like you need to go to your calm space to feel better. Would you like me to go with you?"


La Disciplina Positiva es, ante todo, un camino para criar hijos capaces, respetuosos y con fuertes habilidades sociales. Es el legado de conexión que les permitirá navegar el mundo con seguridad emocional.

Positive Discipline is, above all, a path to raising capable, respectful children with strong social skills. It is the legacy of connection that will allow them to navigate the world with emotional security.

Referencias:

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I've read lots of articles about this already, so it just feels like you're repeating from those articles. I'd have loved to have read a bit about your own personal experiences applying positive discipline included with this. The goal of this community is to share our experiences of what has worked for us, otherwise we may as well just link to articles.