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RE: Captain Ishmael's Sea Monster Extinction Service [2]

in Scholar and Scribe2 years ago

This is a solid, compact scene! Two characters are developed with a healthy dose of "show" vs "tell."

My spoon was made of cast iron.

Excellent little detail that really rounds off the protagonist's plainness.

His finger traced over the drawing, no doubt his mind trying to comprehend such a creature, swimming in some distant ocean somewhere.

I love the way it ends too. You avoid a classic head-hop by including the words 'no doubt,' which keeps us firmly in The Captain's POV.

!PIZZA

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Plainness is a good word to describe Ishmael; so I'm glad I could capture that. There is a LOT of switching from first and third person in Moby Dick, which I honestly will probably avoid. I enjoy the inner monologue the best.