Thanks to all of you who wished me well when I wrote about impaling myself with a screw. It was quite the journey and makes me wonder how I would deal with life if I was ACTUALLY really ill. I guess my Dad is the inspiration for that as he managed when he was in hospital and he's a moving person like me.

One morning I woke up terribly depressed and sat with that a while before showering, sobbing my heart out, and then getting on with it. I'd been listening to an audio book called 'How to Die in the Anthropocene' who begins by reminding the reader exactly why humanity is going to die, exacerbating a sensation of ecogrief that often rises in my body. I do a pretty good job of refocusing most days, but when I'm crippled or ill, I can't work off the stagnant, depressive energy that builds in me. It's painful to sit with sensations. It's why I've always moved and got busy with projects - it's not because I'm particularly avoiding, it's just that I can allow the feelings to rise and fall whilst in motion. Zen and the art of doing anything but sitting.

After a proper sob, because that's allowed, I got up and did the dishes sitting at the sink whilst the darling husband tidied and hung out the washing. I worked through some floor movements, breathed, breathed, and breathed.

At last, I figured out a way of hobbling by bending over my toes and leaning on my heel - it wasn't ideal, but it's hard to move around with crutches! I thought a lot about amputees that would be out doing sports within a year of injury, adapting to their new bodies. I pretty much had no excuse to wallow did I?

Firstly, I made bread - my boy had suggested this recipe and I thought I'd give it a go. It's been a long time since I made sourdough because the house temperature is too irregular and the seal on my oven is gone. As he said, it does work out super cheap, and with bread being up to $10 a loaf, paying $2 a loaf is a lot better. Here's the video if you'd like to make it yourself.

Then, I decided I'd do a batch of natural deodorant. I'd worked out that was around $2 a tin or less, but I'd bought the ingredients a long time ago so it didn't feel as if I was spending anything at all. Including the tin, it worked out at $2.25 when a good natural deodorant will cost you between $10 and $20. Basically you get all the oily ingredients and melt them, add your powder (tapioca starch can replace arrowroot, and a plant wax can sub the beeswax) and essential oils and put in a container. I use my own essential oil blend I worked out and love this stuff.

COCONUT OIL 57g
BEESWAX 50g
SHEA BUTTER 55g
ARROWROOT 35g
BICARB SODA 70g

Please excuse this old photo - I've written about it on HIVE before, you see, and my foot is too painful to go searching for my phone. I have to kinda limit my movement as much as I can. If you'd like more details on my deodorant you can read my old post here - although I have worked out the exact grams since then - and my vegan version here

Next was yoghurt. I haven't got out my yoghurt machine in yonks. It's so easy and by tomorrow morning I'll have some yoghurt. I think I'll make labneh as I just love it. Cost wise, it works out at around $3 a 2 litre tub, and I add probiotics for a bit of extra punch.

Then, I made a batch of Sriracha - the chilli's and veggies had been fermenting for a month so it needed doing.

So whilst being literally screwed cost me a bit of mental health, or at least the energy used to deal with a few sensations, I made made a few savings and kept myself sane by hobbling around my kitchen and getting on with a few projects. It wasn't a complete loss. And I learnt a little bit about myself as I went, and how to deal with injury a bit more graciously for next time.

I'm glad it didn't go on much longer, thanks to plantain! The irony is that now I'm walking, I'd give anything for a day if rest 😂😜

How do you manage being unwell or out of action?

With Love,

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