Itβs not the weekend yet, but for me it already feels like it because of our new schedule. At first glance, our schedule seemed like a blessing for us because who wouldnβt like three-day classes per week? However, that happiness soon vanished when I experienced how it feels to have that kind of schedule. It's exhausting beyond measure. It was only Wednesday yesterday, but I feel like I already received a weekβs worth of fatigue. Unlike before, our schedule had some free time, but now itβs cramped to the point that thereβs a day we get to miss our snack break. We had to endure almost six hours of straight classes, and by the time we finished our third period, I was almost to my fainting point.
I probably still havenβt adjusted to it, but still I feel like itβs hard because itβs been a long time since I experienced that kind of setup. The last time I had a whole-day class was way back in my high school years, when I, without doubt, was definitely with my fountain of youth. I guess that fountain had already dried by the time I graduated my younger years because now it seems everything felt like a drag. Almost everything is creaking in my body, and I know my dextroscoliosis is prolly worsening. Speaking of creaking bones, mentioning that reminds me that Iβm just a couple days away from the yearly reminder I existedβyeah, my birthday.
In my younger years, in these days I was definitely excited and jittery about how Iβd celebrate that day. Also, Iβm looking forward to a lot of things, the majority of which are the greetings and gifts Iβll receive that day. But now that Iβm significantly older, yet obviously still not wiser, I donβt look forward that much to that day anymore. Not that Iβm not grateful that I was able to survive another year, but because I realized that itβs just another normal day. It somehow didnβt feel as special as it felt like before, prolly because itβs a warning that Iβm a year closer to being dust again. I donβt want to sound pessimistic, but I think with this kind of body, I wouldnβt last long. Not that I wanted to anywayβ¦because even though Iβm part antisocial, I donβt want to be left alone. As much as possible, if Iβm leaving, I wanted to be the first.
Sharing this felt weird because these thoughts just sprang out of my mind suddenly. I just remembered my coming birthday because my body is aching all over, meaning Iβm really getting old. Iβm just in my really early twentiesβ¦but it feels oddly older. Sigh, donβt mind me; maybe Iβm just overreacting right now, or perhaps itβs one of the episodes of what they call birthday blues. Either way, if itβs just like thatβI hope itβll go away soon.
