Why I Backed Out From Corporate (They Kill Good Talents)

Here's a recent snap of my Linux desktop. This is a cheap second-hand laptop I originally bought for my son. PHP 15,000 (~$300 USD) snagged it 4 months ago, thinking it’d finally keep him off my work laptop.

It took only a few weeks to realize he was deep into game development. Turns out, this little machine couldn’t handle his grand visions... installing Unreal Engine was like trying to squeeze an elephant into a taxi cab.

Fast forward a month, and guess who’s using it more than him? Yep, me. He’s got all the entertainment he could ever want—my mobile phone, the PS4, even the Nintendo Switch. If you're thinking I’m a bad mom, I do try to tempt him with books I buy from Booksale. Those are now gathering a respectable layer of dust.

It’s tough to limit screen time for a kid when his mom’s job is all about screen time. What I do appreciate, though, is that most of his interests lean towards creation rather than pure consumption.

But this isn't about the laptop. It's about monitoring (and other things). One reason why I chose Linux over Windows, and how the corporate world just hates that.

About 4 months ago, I took a corporate job.

If you ask why, I’m not sure I have a good answer. 😅 Maybe it was a midlife crisis, a romantic notion that working in a “real office” might bring some fulfillment?? I don't know...

One of their requirements was to use the company laptop. Why? “Privacy” and “data protection,” they said.

For someone who’s hacked wireless networks and holds an honorary veteran status in sharing HPIs, EHIs, and other tricks to bypass greedy ISP limits, I’m no stranger to protecting myself. I knew this was really about monitoring, which I’ve always been dead against.

I’m just a designer. I do honest work, designing beautiful websites and pages because I love it.

But I also love to dabble in the unknown. That’s why I’ve bounced from 3D animation for film to web design, marketing, and automations.

I work a legit job by day, but while others binge crime series at night, I’m deep in discussions across various communities—from IRC piracy channels to Blackhat forums and even Psychic/Tarot circles.

I’m my own kind of mess. And corporate life doesn’t quite mesh with that.

Imagine my shock when they handed me a Mac.

Firstly, the reason why I’m able to offer great designs at a low cost is because I use special apps shared in “group buys” for marketing tools.

Also, it sux that they only allow me to use the machine at home or office, not in my favorite coworking space.

photo credits below *

Third, it’s tough to poke around a Mac to figure out which processes are tracking my activity. I need to know exactly what they’re watching. I’m that paranoid. Because I know I use a lot of loopholes in my workflow to produce stellar results.

The reason why I chose Linux over Windows as my daily driver is because I question Microsoft's use of my data. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to be monitored on actions that judge me as a person, than just merely using me for better advertising?

When my TA mentioned Teramind had already been installed, I calmly said, “I see,” but inside I was plotting to bring the damn thing home and figure out how to dodge the monitoring.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if my hours are tracked. It's just that their software is a different kind of beast.

Monitoring was the biggest kicker for me, the second reason why I felt I wanted to quit.

The real dystopia in the corporate world is that they think creativity can be measured in the number of strokes, or in the actual hours of working in front of the computer.
And that if you work for them, they own your privacy and you have no way out.

The main reason I was motivated to back out? My marketing manager kept telling my coworker to watch if I was working—even though by the end of the day, I’d made significant progress. I had to come home late, wake up early, slog through traffic, and then crash right after lunch.

And still, I delivered results.

But I had both actual eyes and digital eyes to watch if my eyes are really glued to the computer.

I liked my coworker, my guardian for the few weeks I was there. She didn't shy away in telling me that "she has been told" to watch over me. But the system is just a pain in the behind.

The last straw was a spicy exchange with my marketing manager when she found my straightforward attitude while explaining to her my preferred freelance workflow.

It also didn't help that she made the huge mistake of making me do something that the higher-ups didn't ask. She didn't own up to it enough to ask for an honest apology... for the work I spent sleepless nights on.

I've been open about my difficulties. I always thought a good leader is someone who helps remove the obstacles to make you work better. All I felt at the time was being judged for not being able to conform to the obstacles they placed on purpose.

My TA, Bennett, was a petite powerhouse—a wonderful girl who embodied both the wisdom of a big sister and the persistent chattiness of a little sister. She was one of the rare, authentic souls in that building, and her presence made the place feel less lonely.

When I learned she was quitting too, it felt like a punch to the gut. The thought of staying on without a "work bestie" to vent to or share a knowing glance with during hellish times made the idea of continuing seem even more isolating.

It was a relief to know we shared the same views on work-life balance. If we were going to give so much of ourselves to a job, we wanted a bit of our sanity intact at the end of the day. I told her everything I didn't like on my last day and just like that, I took my paycheck and we parted ways.

If corporate taught me something, it's that you have to stay low to climb your way to the top.

...you shouldn't speak your mind where you're not needed and that they reel in big talents to keep them small.

Looking back, it wasn’t just the surveillance or the long hours that pushed me away. It was the feeling that I had to shrink myself to fit in. Corporate life seemed designed to stifle individuality, forcing creativity into a box.

I learned that success there often meant keeping your mouth shut, blending in like a potted plant, and mastering the art of nodding in agreement. But let’s be honest, I’ve never been great at any of that. I’m more of a 'say what you think, trip over your own words, and hope for the best' kind of person.

I value honesty, growth, and the freedom to explore—even if that means walking away from the so-called security of a corporate job. Sure, it’s risky, but so is trying to survive another day pretending I care about office politics... or that you hate my napping in office hours.

Leaving wasn’t a defeat... it was reclaiming my worth. I choose to work where my creativity can thrive, where I can stand tall and be true to myself. It’s not about climbing to the top by playing someone else’s game; it’s about finding a place where I can let my work speak for itself.

Besides, if not for the usual benefits and HMO, the pay really wasn't worth it.

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Photo by AltumCode on Unsplash

Posted Using InLeo Alpha

Posted Using InLeo Alpha