"Every time you see me that Hammer's just so hyped. I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic. Now why would I ever stop doing this with others making records that just don't hit? I toured around the world from London to The Bay: It's Hammer! Go Hammer! MC Hammer! Yo Hammer! And the rest can go and play You Can't Touch This."

_{It isn't plagiarism because it's italicized, "quoted," linked and I'm telling you MC Hammer wrote it. Now here comes the magic—don't blink}

Abra Cadabra!

I toured around the world from London to The Bay.

Sorry about your luck Mr Hammer but I, too, toured each of the above destinations. I, however, took it a step further by calling each home for an extended period of time so guess what Ham? Your shit's dated, that's what. Mine's fresh, regards! Next up—based on actual events:

I toured around the world from London to The Bay.

That's bɒɔʞwɒɿdꙅ. Our journey began in The Bay and ended in London, not the other way around. Jordan's the farthest we got. Two years deep in a world tour when the G7 seven edited everything they used to want us to think so around the world is only ha/lf true.

Tada!

_{In less time it takes a NASCAR parrot to change Biden to Brandon we sourced original content, stole it fairly and squarely and, lastly, inserted "based on actual events" which means NOTHING—blink}



Well if it's that easy for mios, it must be reeeaal easy for someone trained and backed by an army.

I only have Facebook to stay in touch with family.

You and everyone else.

No one cares anymore that's why. I stole MC Hammer's lyrics right in front of you like it was nothing and he's famous. Welcome to Web 3.0 or Wild Wild Web, same thing, where plagiarism matters and nothing else does.

Cough! I'm about to ban covid from my vocabulary—file it away with the b-word. It's too easy to misunderstand manipulated misinformation. I just showed you how easy it is to twist a 90's chart topper. If you don't like regulations in such and such country because yata yata, turn the channel. It's paradise on the other one.

There's only one fact you need to know about covid delta echo charlie, trust me, you can bet the house on it. Gather'ound everyone, get the whole fam, you don't wanna miss this earth stopping info in 3 - 2...

Everyone's a scientist now.

Dear cardiologists and respiratory therapists who studied at the University of YouTube and BitChute alumni tuned in who graduated with a doctorate in Technology and Science: If you can't explain the genetic or scientific or molecular makeup of a Coke Zero I won't believe anything you say about covid injections so SHUT THE FUCK UP. Thank you. Stop talking about it and it'll go away like handshakes.



Ever been about half way through a piece of content and try picking up where you left off but the last thing you said was shut the fuck up in ALL CAPS? Me either.

Thanks @cmplxty! He created this channel, #rant or, as I like to call it, #comedy. I do this sometimes—talk shit. Pura says only when my mouth's moving.



Lopsided, that's what it is, the Wild Wild Web's lopsided like a budget boob job. Plagiarism is an act of treason or worse in Web 3.0, digital sexual battery whereas flat out lying, ransom and deception, psychological experiments, thievery, algorithm marketing, hostile takeovers, malicious organizing, etc is acceptable like facial disguises at the bank.

Some chick at my wifes work brags every Monday about how many hundreds of dollars she made over the weekend selling her panties to her Fansonly audience whose slogan is 18+ (just kidding, don't make this weird) but don't plagiarize.

I can have a dozen semi automatic 12 gauge shotguns and thousands of rounds delivered to the house next day shipping but don't plagiarize. Look, I'm as anti snakes and liars as you are but doesn't that seem backward? Maybe it's just me. I think we're doing a lot of things backwards today like dudes wearing booty shorts at the gym.

Like this. Not just one dude, either, two or three dudes consistently rock booty shorts in there now and not just one gym. National Fitness, Anytime Fitness, Golds, they're everywhere and they're all different. Wasn't like that a minute ago. Not sure how I missed that cop.



Reminds me of the time I got pulled over for speeding on Ocean Boulevard and said I didn't have ID on me. Stopped by law enforcement in LA County is playing with fire with proper identification. Without it however, well, looking back now I don't recommend it given the circumstances but it's the best option I had on short notice—hindsight.

Clocked you at 55 back there, posted speed limit's 30. License and registration.

It's golden hour on Ocean Blvd, sun's glaring off the Pacific in my eyes, I could hardly see. I used my hand to block the sun like a hat bill. I hear him but all I see is a silhouette.

'I don't have ID,' I told the officer, 'my name's Hugh G. Rekshun. My license is suspended.'

Real cute, HUGH. Driving on a suspended's against the law. Speeding down Ocean on a suspended license is just plain stupid and lying to a deputy sheriff is the worst mistake you made all day. I'm gonna need to see proof of insurance and vehicle registration. Step outta the vehicle.

He stepped back motioning me to exit the vehicle. 'It's not my car, officer. I just stole it, the house I got it from is right over there' pointing behind me. 'I got outta there as fast as I could.'

I'm trying to stay calm. He's on high alert now so I'm making a solid effort to diffuse the situation by smiling and laughing at the silhouette. I don't want him to think he's in danger. Unfortunately he didn't think I was funny. He got on his radio and called for backup.

Step outta the vehicle sir!

'Alright, alright, I'll get out. But the loaded pistol in the glovebox doesn't have a safety.'

All things considered, that's probably the worst thing I could've said. Now he's yelling "don't move!" We're attracting a crowd of onlookers. I got my hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, moments later sirens approach from every direction, I'm surrounded.

I see weapons drawn in every mirror, "don't move!" Silhouettes and police officers everywhere. 'Relax, I'm not going anywhere' I said with my hands glued to the steering wheel, 'I think there's been a Hugh G. misunderstanding.'

My door opened. An officer with the fanciest brim hat out of all the hats I'm surrounded by opened my door. He calmly insisted I step out of the vehicle. I calmly complied.

Sir, I'm Captain (whoever he said his name is). My deputy here informs me you've got a loaded firearm in the glovebox, is that true?

'No heck no! Of course not! There's some napkins in there, air freshener, vehicle registration and proof of insurance, that's about it. I have no weapons on me.'

Vehicle registration and insurance in whose name, yours?? I've been briefed this vehicle's stolen.

'You've been briefed incorrectly, officer, I've never stolen anything in my life. This is My car.'

Seems we've got ourselves a situation. My deputy here insists there's a firearm in the glovebox, the vehicle's stolen and you're the unlicensed individual responsible for stealing it.

Without hesitation I said 'I bet that lyin bastard told you I was speeding too!'

Ha! Ha! Ha! Captain what's his face laughed out loud, surrounding officers reacted to the captains laughter with a little chuckle of their own. "He did! LoL!!" I pretended to LOL at the whole thing myself but it was fake. I fake laughed as much as possible so he didn't think I was laughing at him and instead with him. He motioned me to return to the driver seat and take off, apologized all over himself how the whole thing's a misunderstanding and gave me a parade wave goodbye, "have a nice day, drive safe!"

Just before I turned it up and took off, he love tapped the roof of my car with the palm of his hand, stopped laughing long enough to wish me a farewell, BIG HUGE smile, shrugged his shoulders and said:

Well, at least he's not a plagiarist!