Life isn't just about about rainbows and butterflies, and there is surely pain, hindrances, and suffering along with it. Despite the reality you are now experiencing, if you may, try to see the world always on the brighter side and I promise you that your perspectives would change. I have been through that, gurl. I know what it feels to live a life that is so messed up. If life tries to destroy you with a storm, just always remember that every cloud has a silver lining. You'll get through one day, don't give up.