Maybe there's something wrong with how I understood living in the moment but the mainstream idea I see is getting your fun activities spent with a group. My own conspiracy with these ads is that trying to get introverts have a sense of missing out in the moment because they aren't doing the normal activities of what seems to be deemed as fun.
What I just want to be cozy under the rain sipping good coffee while reading a good book? what my idea of fun is just being engrossed with my leisure hobbies in a small workshop undisturbed by prying eyes? I get more fun out of these solitary activities than I would usually get with good company and it's not that I don't appreciate the good company, it's more like there's more mileage out of what I could accomplish alone in the solitary moment.
So whenever I go on meeting strangers and catching up with friends, there's this generic question framed differently but same theme of what do I do for fun? and what if the real answer is counter productive to the conversation so the safe response is a mix of solitary and small group activities with significant others.
I'm an introvert and that's probably the most flawed part about me being human as I tend to miss out on activities that give me a little bit more out of life had I just engaged with more people. It's not that I have a dislike for people, it's more like getting used to solitude and finding alternatives to indulge myself in what life has to offer with little dependence on other people's presence.
It's probably how I can sometimes be dense at social cues of be nonchalant about almost anything that concerns other people. Extroverts are better at adapting to people's good sides while introverts have to learn this skill at a slower pace. Even mainstream media has more heroes portrayed as characters that can readily express themselves in the crowd and if the protagonist is someone who is an introvert, they have to get some quirky side or hidden loveable traits to get accepted.
What if they're just an introverted protagonist who is capable of socially adapting to situations while still opt to just march to their own beat. I think this is why it's hard to write introverted characters who can have fun on their own adventures because stories that are mainstream good tend to require the company of side characters an audience can relate to even if the soloist is already competent to complete their own heroes journey. I probably rambled some points there but whatever.
When the lockdowns happened, I learned that not much has changed with the quality of interactions I get and I could argue there's been some quality improvement now that I have to deal with less shit from people on a daily basis. But the same thing can't be said for extroverted friends that have some mental issues due to the lockdowns for being unable to socialize physically.
Complaints like not being able to travel, drinking out with friends, or stuck in a room doing nothing but surf the internet, and only getting out to work if the job is essential were their themes. Shit I wish my lifestyle had more freedom to do what I want in my own time and confined space than going out and interact with people on a daily basis.
Imagine being stuck at home with the powers of the internet to learn something new or indulge in your curiosities, order materials online for your crafts, and getting no distractions from people at work because you've done your quota quickly for the day, that's paradise. Notice how these activities had no mention of being with people around?
Again, it's not that there is a specific dislike or aversion to people, it's more like having a preference to spend more time with one's own company or if with others involved, being with others than matter more than one's solitude.
I still think one of the greatest forms of expression for appreciation as an introvert is showing up to someone else's call for company because introverts would find all the reasons to avoid someone they don't want to be with if possible. Extroverts can do this too except they're not mentally taxed as much compared to introverts being trapped in the same space because solitude is better than keeping company with introverts don't like.
So when I think about how one can fully live in the moment, why is it the image of people having fun in the company of other people the default idea instead of just selling the idea that even alone can can be merry.
Thank you for your time.
While tryinng to generate FOMO is always a possibility, I think it's just that the social type stuff is just much easier to photograph because it's easy for people to be happy and smiling and look like they're having a good time. I don't know about you but when I'm doing the solitary stuff I love I just have resting bitch face (because I'm concentrating on what I'm doing and it doesn't require a reaction for the most part, unless I'm animating in which case I might be screwing my face up or repeating motions in the space next to my chair trying not to upset the rest of the furniture) and it doesn't convey the joy that I'm getting (though my anim attempts may provide some amusement for anyone observing both in the horrible mistakes that occur in the actual anim and in my cavorting).
Then looking at broader social problems (of people becoming shut-ins at best and self-centred sociopaths with overwhelmingly narcissistic main character syndrome so wrapped up int heir own wants and needs they absolutely cannot under any circumstances accept the fact that the universe does not and never will revolve around them) that might also be an underlying reason for trying to encourage some social leisure activity.
I just find the double standards of having fun alone and having fun in a group weird. Imagining yourself listening to good music and acting out some head fiction for a story you're writing or be inspired in your own personal workshop laboring away to make that fantasy have a corporeal manifestation. The time spent engaging in what you love without anyone's company and the joy it brings can just be as fun as an extrovert going out with good company.
A healthy introversion is still keeping a few friends and going out once in a while without other social impediments of course.
But the former (referring to introverts having fun) is less popular and probably going to be that shut-in loser with weird ideas until they make a breakthrough and make a hell of a money out of it, then they become the creative hero. I haven't heard of an artist from the old masters that were known to party hard, instead most of the biographies depicted as shut ins studying their craft and having fun.
From a purely technical point of view (of budgeting for and creating an advertisement that encourages people to look after their mental health by doing something they enjoy), extraverted activities are orders of magnitude easier and cheaper to make advertising material for which I think is most of why there is a ridiculously heavy bias towards that.
I do think it's extremely lazy to not cover small group/solitary activities but can understand why it's less done when considering budgetary constraints.
And another thought that just occurred to me partway through coffee #1, it could be that most/all of the people on the advertising teams are extraverts themselves and so are hyperfocusing on the ideas that would give them fun and don't have the imagination to consider any other type of fun.
This line stuck out to me:
I have fancied myself as one that bounces between introversion / extroversion but I kind of think I could fit in that introverted protagonist. I adapt but in some instances may be slow to catch on to things like when I am being trolled. It's a bit of occasional tone-deafness but I think I compensate for it in a way that makes it endearing. Well, it sounds good at least. 😅
Sidenote: Bipolar runs in my family so kinda curious if the switching could possibly coincide with manic / depressive states. I am not trying to Google MD myself but maybe something there.
Anyways, appreciate you for the thought provoking and relateable post.
The lifestyle where you exercise the option to say yes and no about anything without feeling hinged by what other people think is a social super power.
I think it’s a historical thing - people 30 years ago were more extroverted and living in the moment then so it has been considered being around people is. I think living in the moment is whatever it needs to be for that person and varies for sure.
My bias is that commercial ads need to cater to outgoing people more because these will be the spenders chasing experiences. Activities outside is good for tourism, real estate, businesses catered to recreation and other outdoor entertainment. Less money to be made in shoving a book to an introvert who's going to read it at home.
Nice article. Greetings for today my friend.