I understand your feelings well, it's normal to be so.
For me it remains a surprise, nothing lets see your desire for change, or maybe I didn't see it, reading maybe superficially and not all of your posts. I'm so glad you chose this option, and even better now, that you'll sit in both places.

Oh, how nice! That looks like an invitation, thank you!
Now I can show you how unlucky I can be. The other day I had my heart checked and I'm in big trouble. The doctor forbade me to drive a car... I have to go to another specialist doctor who did an operation on my heart a year ago, maybe he will put in a pacemaker, maybe another operation similar to the one last year (I wouldn't want to, because it was very painful and, I think, ineffective...). I'll see, but for now, my travels seem blocked.