Once is 3:am am up from sleep and I will start thinking about my life and the challenges that i have with me.

Being someone that grew up in a family where life wasn't so rosy so i have this dream of making my family happy especially my old parents before they die, but challenges of life will never allow me achieve my goals.

To worsening it all the country that we live in is not doing better at all.

Since a year and six months i stopped secular job it has been a great struggle to survive, it has been something that i don't know where to place my hands on, i have been thinking if its business i want to do but I don't have a capital to start it up, but all i know is that i survive on daily basis and i don't know how it has been happening for almost two years now.

Few months ago I raised a little capital and was confused on what business i can start, a friend adviced me to try crypto investment, because i didn't know that crypto is that bad, I aggred to his advice and I put in my hard earned 100$ which i really struggled to save, as am talking to you am left with 0$ crypto has swallowed it all, and i said Never will i go into crypto again

What was the problem?

The problem was that I have no adequate knowledge about crypto trading and investment and I quickly jumped in thinking that i would find my way out, and it has become obvious to me that without adequate knowledge one should not invest or start any business because its as good as gambling with your money.

What i do not know

Now i don't know how I will raise up another capital, I don't know what tomorrow will bring, that unawares of tomorrow affects my thinking on daily basis, it keeps me anxious with so many What ifs and thats eating me up.

Yes I want to remain in lagos state but what i don't know is how to survive, because my state is just not worth living, the insecurity there is becoming so absurd and I don't think i can deal with it but the question is How will I survive here?

Just few days ago while i was still struggling with life, my landlady came to meet me with a notice that i should quit my apartment, I asked to know if i offended her but from all ramifications she wants to get a new tenant that will pay higher than me, am struggling with how to get money for a fresh rent, if you live in lagos state you will understand what house issues can cause, the frustration is way too much.

As if that wasn't okay, the next thing power went off and we got a message that national grid collapse and there was no hope, it was three days i stocked my freezer with one month food, hmmmmmm "what should I do?" "Ohhhhh noooo my mental health is affected at this moment so i have to do something"

I have to find happiness.