This song have a deep place in my heart, you see I have an ex-addict friend, named "Sharol", she was hook on coke for a long time, and she dedicated this song to me when I was in a dark place after the breakup I told you on my last comment.
Why she did that? Because at that time we got closer than ever before. She is a mom and has a "Happy marriage"(Not happy at all at that time, currently is a lot better) she was mutilating her skin just to drain her desire for drugs, and one of the many songs she listened to when she was in that dark place, was this one special song.
It's about losing yourself, asking for forgiveness to yourself in the mirror for knowing you are lost, and not getting out of that dark place. Why she introduced this song to me? Because she pushed me to get therapy from a psychiatrist for my post-break-up depression.
She eventually helped me in therapy, and I made the same for her(She stopped and now she is a lot better), I love her very much and ironically don't talk that often to her due to having no time with a pregnancy of my own, but she is one of the main reasons I'm here today, also she was the third person I run to telling that my fiancée was pregnant, my mom, a friend that was present at the moment of the test and her were my priority in that time.
Lines of the song that have a special meaning for me:
"Perdona si no llego a estar en la cena, Tampoco a desayunar, No pude evitar hacerle el amor a Las luces de esta ciudad" (This line refers to go out and spend all day on streets living in the night city and only hitting home in lunch time to go out again to live the night city life)
"Y si me pierdo no me busques tan lejos, Seguro estoy por ahi" (He is always close to himself, quite obviously)
"No es que me este escondiendo de mi reflejo, Es que no quiero que me veas así" (The whole song might listen like a song about a conversation until this line comes around, it changes everything, this is not a dialog between two people, is between the addict and himself when is sober)
"Y se cuando debo ceder, Y no es hoy, y no es hoy" (Addicts don't accept they need to get out of it, does not matter what is your addiction, alcohol, the very nightlife itself, drugs even pure sadness can be addictive too, it allows you to trow your life away and refuse help)
This song is therapeutic to me now, when I play it I remember the bad times and get more motivated to not drow on sadness ever again, and I remember "Sharol" spent a night crying her eyes out asking me not to do something stupid and that she needed a decent uncle on her daughter's life (Who would say that now she also has a new nephew or niece on the way, she was right, life got something else stored for me)
I love this initiative, for appreciation of music and its meaning to people. Thank you for this hard work, and I will invite a friend of mine @andrearojas55, and say congratulations to the past winners on this contest :)
woah que buena elección y que buena historia :D las adicciones siempre son difíciles de superar, es fuerte, pero me ha pasado que los adictos que he conocido suelen ser las mejores personas, que curioso no? Que linda historia, de verdad es muy conmovedora, me encanta también que sea una continuación de tu participación anterior.
Muy buena participación Jesús! :D
Gracias por pasar 💙
Esos meses fueron duros, Yo acepte ir a terapia por los amigos que insistieron en que fueran, Sharol no fue la única, una pareja de amigos se mudaron a mi hogar durante una semana para no dejarme cometer atentos contra mi vida, no quería aceptar que la separación me había sacado de órbita por decirlo de esa manera, no tome nada bien que alguien por quien yo había sacrificado mi oportunidad de graduarme y cien cosas mas simplemente se fuera sin dar gracias y me tratare como basura.
No tome bien ese golpe, y menos aun la causa de irse ella, una infidelidad. Actualmente miro al pasado y digo que era un estúpido con apego emocional que cayo en manipulaciones de la ex, que quería que fuera arrastrándome "cambiado" hacia ella, pero ya cambiado y mejor en el estado emocional conocí a mi prometida y la vida dio otro rumbo sabes.
Ahorita esta el bebe pateando la pansita y ando de lo mas contento por ello :) las cosas cambiaron y realmente siento que estoy en un mejor lugar que donde estaba en esa época, pero no dejan de tener un especial significado en mi corazón las canciones que me ayudaban a llevar mi sentir en ese momento.
La música tiene ese efecto sanador que la gente subestima, es esencial en la vida por decirlo así, gracias a ti por tener esta genial iniciativa y por leer mi post, cuídate :)