I'm gonna go ahead and continue my thoughts - if I don't, I'm scared I'll lose them 😂

It's absolutely amazing how strong a gambling addiction can be. I feel I struggle so much, but have been beyond fortunate. I followed promoguy on Twitter, did nothing but his bets and grew. I took advantage of sign-up offers to guarantee a profit and kept growing. Everything changed when I hit a big bet to basically fund my addiction for a few years. A $5 4-leg parlay, all first baskets. It paid around 20k on Draftkings (they auto withheld taxes/immediate tax form/etc). But that money fueled so much opportunity - I bought my 6.5 Grendel, suppressor, gun safe, and pulled money for bills multiple times. We weren't over the top, but we lived extra comfy knowing that I had 'fun money' to fall back on. We fell back on that money for years and it was an absolute blessing, but I also used some of that money for gambling. It's so easy to justify depositing $10 when I can withdraw $100 from a sportsbook, but the fun money dwindled so I didn't have as much to justify playing casinos.
Anyways, depositing and spinning a slot hits me like a fuckin addy. It perks me up and I hyper fixate on nothing but gambling and can carry over to the next morning. Between the fun money shrinking and my mental health, I know I needed a major break. I want gambling to be fun again where I don't have that immediate, irrational impulse. I want my fun money to grow from responsible,+ev betting and I wanna win 'free money' from these social casinos just from collecting the daily log in. I'm going to. I've committed more than ever.
Instead of gambling after this post, I'm going to write. I started writing down some possible standup jokes, but of course have never done any sort of stand up. I've always felt I was a decent writer, but I know that doesn't necessarily translate to comedy. Either way, it's better than spinning the slots. 100 underscore underscore