Behind the Gray Sky

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The night was heavy, and above, the cloudy sky hung, as if holding a secret that it did not want to reveal. I sat in this narrow room and thought about every decision that brought me here. My sins and memories alternately teased me like shadows dancing on the wall.

"Is this the life I seek?" I asked myself. The sound of my heart was like a scream, while the world was silent. With each passing second, I heard the echo of this question grow louder, like iron being hit by a hammer.

I remembered my mother, her gentle gaze, her soothing voice, and her prayers that never stopped even though I often disappeared without a trace. In the silence, I felt she was still here, trying to erase the stain on my pitch-black heart.

_{Queen ~ Bohemian Rhapsody [Youtube]}

But the world didn't care. The laws of life remained as rigid as before. Outside the window, the wind howled, as if mocking someone's weakness. Do I deserve to be forgiven? Like a twinkling star, I had disappeared without meaning.

But behind the gray clouds, I could still see a ray of light. Not a blinding light, but a warm light, calling me to rise. "It's not too late," he whispered.

I got up and clung to that slim hope. No matter how hard the world presses, I know that as long as I can see that light, I have a reason to keep going.

Tonight may be gray, but tomorrow it may turn blue. However, is the promise of blue skies just an illusion, a vision I built for comfort?

I walked to the window and opened the curtains. A cool coastal breeze blew in, carrying the scent of rain that had yet to fall. The trees, outside, danced in the rhythm of the light as if talking to each other, their signals beyond my knowledge.

"The world is cruel," I said, "but there are interludes, moments when a little beauty creeps in like sunlight sliding down from the shadows." I have to believe that behind this silence, life still holds the laughter that has been lost, the hugs that have been delayed, and the journey that we have long wanted to take.

There I stood, between two worlds: the world of regret and the world of hope. And once again, gently but more lively and firmly, the little voice inside whispered, "Walk, even if it's a small step, walk."

I know this night is not over, but I also know that every night has an end. And I want to be the one who decides at the end of this dark night whether I will surrender to the night or seek the hidden dawn.

The sky may be gray, but it is there that I learned that gray skies are what it takes for me to understand the value of tomorrow’s blue.

This small step feels heavy, lifting an invisible weight that rests on every inch of my body. But I know that if I don’t take it now, this night will swallow up all my light, my hope, even my very being.

Tonight, something comes to me: it is not words that will save me, but actions. The steps I take, however small, however shaky.

I step out into the darkness of the night that envelops me. There is silence; the leaves rustle. Then I look up at the sky. The gray was still there, but the little star swam across it as if to say, "I am here, waiting for you.

However, I knew that the star was not an answer but a sign, indicating that I still had more time, that there was still tomorrow, which also brought promises that were not yet visible.

I continued walking to the small path that wound up the hill where I was hiding. The air was getting colder by the second, but my steps were surer. The trees around me seemed to be telling me: "Keep moving forward. Never come back.".

I stood there, staring at the horizon that was gradually changing color. Gray still covered the sky, but orange hues began to appear in the corners, like a sign that dawn was ready to chase away the night.

I felt small on that hill, but whole for the first time in a long time. All the regrets, fears, and hopes that weighed on my chest melted into one thing: faith.

The faith in life, that life is not about running away from the night but about facing the darkness bravely, waiting for the light to come.

I closed my eyes and listened to the wind that carried the sounds of life: The birds began to chirp, the rustle of dancing leaves, and the voice of my heart this time louder than before.

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"This is not the end, this is just the beginning," I said to myself more than anyone else, whispering.

I smiled a little as the first rays of sunlight began to break through the clouds. The sky was not as blue as I had expected, but the splashes of orange and flecks of gold were enough evidence to help me believe that the day would come.

I began to descend the hill with slow steps, each step lighter and more meaningful. It didn’t mean that the journey was over, that there would be more nights, more gray.

But I wasn’t afraid then because I knew that after every gray, there would be blue waiting. Now I am here, with a piece of dawn in my heart facing a new day.

~ Love Seha76