I find it really hard to go through my phone because i get scared of seeing your pictures, i know how i could react emotionally seeing this pictures. Sometimes i seat down to reflect on where i did wrong, my mistakes, steps i should have taken, things i have said wrong but looking at the present and everything that has happened i accept my faith with you.
Photo by Dương Nhân from Pexels
Sometimes i wished i have never met you, like i could reverse the time and watch you fade in my life like you never existed. I know i am not perfect but i never deserve this kind of feelings and now you act like you don't care all because you have lost feelings for a guy you once loved with all your heart and cared about. It's all stories now, i wish i could rewrite how it all began. In my silent moment i remember in my happiest moment i remember you it is very painful why it has to be you, i kept on wondering is this how the feelings of heart break thoroughly looks like, now i understand why some men kill themselves over a lady, i must have been a fool to have blamed those man to be stupid for taking those action then because this feeling can be really painful.
Presently now i don't care about anything because i know i cant have you back in my life i just have to move on with life like that. I know how much i tried my best to make everything work out and be the best of me but it all failed because you found a better person than than me or what ever the reason may be. So it is true when i regard it online that a lady can leave a guy for her happiness hurt a guy can never leave a lady he loves for his happiness. I feel there is so much i need to learn about this gender.
There are a lot things i wish to share with you, a lot to be said that will make you smile and happy but you killed the joy in me and now i cant share anything with you because we are no more close. Sometimes i get depressed thinking about you, but this is life we have to keep moving regardless of whatever we may face in life.
Today, while i was listening to travis scott no bystander then my phone playlist switched to this lana del rey song titled CINNAMON GIRL, i got so emotional listening to this song because i coukd related from the lyrics to my present life experienece, i feel like there are things i want to say and talk about to you but i cant say it, because you are someone i used to know now. In my head is likes there is fire booming inside, remembering this song makes we really deep in thought. I just pray i escape from this my Mind because it is really overwhelming.
Bits of our lives: both the good and the bad are kept alive in certain songs. Sometimes memories can't be erased and Nature's way of reminding us are through songs.
We can all relate to your experience in one way or the other. "Love" is a complex word indeed, one that can't be fully explored.
Greetings!!