Hello, check, hello. Yes, I will take some questions. Erm...so many raised hands! Ah yes, you there, no, you. Ah, not you, sit down idiot. Yes, you. The baldy one. Speak up baldy, I don't have all day!
What? Why are we acting like there is no ongoing virus threat? What do you mean, my good sir? Don't you know we've broken the virus's hands, knees, and shoved them up its broken arse with lube so so high in quality that even the dirtiest telbazes of the bottom rank cannot dream of producing?
What do you mean by the virus doesn't have hands and knees? Of course, it does!
It's a living breathing animal you know!
Yes, I studied in literature but what that has got to do with anything? Are you questioning my credential? Are you accusing me of incompetency as a health minister? How dare you!
Guards! Take that baldy by his hairs, yes, you heard me right, stop looking bewildered and put him along with the other journalists in the dungeon.
Next.
You, the one who's trembling, like you've seen a ghost's gaping hole, speak up! Let's continue this press briefing.