MARRIAGE TALK 1: LOOKING FOR HER

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"Oh, it is not a topic for discussion". "Everyman has a woman assigned to him by God". "Why are we talking about marriage…?"

Why are we not and why shouldn’t we talk about marriage?

Being married is a life that so many wished yet so many run away from. There must have been a thought behind it however this write up for today is f or the young men.

Marriage is not bread and butter; same is the process that will lead to marriage.

Don't always expect a "yes sir, yes sir". This world is not like the days of our fathers; then it is said that a very young girl will be betrothed to a man because he is from a wealthy family or rich himself, or because he is educate or lives in the city, or has traveled out. Civilization and modernization have enhanced and so is Equality and Feminism.

Some of our fathers have wrongly treated our mothers; some of our uncles have turned their wives to slaves. And so no girl wants to be treated in such a way. That's why most of them are now working hard to be self independent and not rely on you (boyfriend/husband).
So, before you say "Jack" she is already saying "Jack Robison"
She doesn't want to be maltreated, all she needs is "your heart and your ears" I bet you...you will live happy and longer.

I know this truth is bitter, but it must be said.
No girl wants to be seen as dummy. She has a mind of her own.
Try hearing and understanding her. Then with love correct her.
No girl wants to be shouted at, ridiculed, and embarrassed.

Even when she is at fault in Public, defend her, then when you get home, tell her why you have to be stupid for her to the extent of fighting for her even when you know she is wrong, then explain how she is wrong.
Some girls are stubborn too.... wild at heart and in action. Even those that lives with Pastors, Bishops Imams or Spiritual leaders (according to region)
There is no saint anywhere.

Guess you have heard or read about the novel "The Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born" by Ayi Kwei Armah. So basically it is not about the shape of the waist, boobs, hips etc. It is about what they carry inside. Truth is …there is no perfect lady anywhere. She might have the pretty face but the bad character. She might be the industrious type but doesn’t possess the boobs you are looking out for. So as a young man, you need an enduring spirit to cope with anyone that appeals to your heart (not your eyes/sight) and mould her to the Queen you want her to be.

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That's the basic truth...
So drop your ego sir "I am the Man" these will make the relationship full of unnecessary frictions.
You are already the man...nobody is arguing that...so you don't need to announce it.

But being a man is far way beyond the the Anglican Church bells in-between your legs
A man is a male gender that is capable of controlling his;
Morning (M)
Afternoon (A)
Night (N).

Can you feed yourself first?

Are you ready to feed and accommodate someone else?

Then do you have the boldness to let her know your feelings?
Tell her. Then naturally she would ask you to tell her Pastor or her Parents (anyone can come first).

A man who is ready will have that boldness to go ahead and see her pastor or her parent.

A man who is ready have a job or something he is onto that at least fetch him money by month end. Could be daily pay, weekly wages or monthly Salary.
A man who is ready have a roof over his head. It could be a rented apartment or a space in the family house.
I want us to have healthy relationships and as much as possible marry and be happy in marriage.

As a man, learn to take off your eyes or ears on some matters.
Allow her to please herself (humanly...but not worldly). Reason why I always encourage us to marry from the family of God/Body of Christ/ fellow worshipper of same faith, believe and doctrine.

“But all the ladies want is my money” You might be wrong sir.
There are ladies who are married because they are in love.

I know a woman in... Doing business. When she married, the young man sleeps anywhere night falls upon him (homeless). But that's who she loves. He has the boldness to tell her he wants her to be his wife. The woman fell in love with him. Established him. They are married with grown up children now
If your mind is in the fact that they are interested in your money, then you are looking for love in the wrong place. Bet me, that mindset will not make u see the right woman for you.

O yes...they need your money. But that should not be your mindset. This write up is not to raise bubbles in the air for the female folk, but to let the male folks know that true love exist if you find it in the real place. Then nurture it to bloom.

Every woman needs love, attention, care and in fact petting. And of cause money.

I do not need to begin to mentor anyone on how to fall in ove or what to look out for.

Let me have your opinions on this. How rosy was the process for you?