CONFUNDIDOS - Olimpiadas

in EN ESPAÑOL4 years ago

▶️ Watch on 3Speak


En esta ocasión hablaremos de nuestros vagos recuerdo de las olimpiadas

Esperamos sea de su agrado y nos den la oportunidad de escuchar nuestras charlas random con un poco de buen humor y doble sentido y al final seguirán igual de confundidos

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What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
“Odor in the court!”

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A father was washing his car with his son
And the son says, “dad, can’t you use a sponge?”

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I'm in hospital because I drunk a cup of petrol.
That was a very fuelish thing to do.

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What do you call a corrupted IPhone?
A bad apple.

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There is a autopsy convention starts this week.
Friday is open Mike night.

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Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert?
He was stuffed.

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What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They're both Paris sites.

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What do cheaters do after they die?
They lie still

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How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screen shots.

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How often should you tell chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

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Ever seen a blacksmith join two metal sheets?
It's riveting

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Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?
A toothbrush works much better.

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Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?
The stock market.

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My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy.
At least that's what she wrote in her diary.

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How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, they hold the bulb while the world revolves around them.

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The punch line comes first.
The worst thing about time travel jokes is…

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Never scream into a colander
You'll strain your voice.

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How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.

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I've been a limo driver for 25 years and haven’t had a single customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

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There are II kinds of people
Those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't

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Why are vacuums always so tough?
Because they know how to suck it up.

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I need to figure out the best treatment for my narcolepsy.
My doctor told me to sleep on it.

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How do you make a cheese puff?
Chase it around the block.

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Want a new friend?
Tell a women you love her.

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What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1.

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Being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job
But at least it puts food on the table.

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I wish I could clean mirrors for a living.
It's just something I can see myself doing.

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What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of joke?
Acorny one.

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What do they call a cubic zirconia in Ireland?
A sham-rock.

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My roommate keeps saying that our house is haunted.
But I've lived here for last 216 years, and haven't heard anything unusual.

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I was going to tell a joke about hominy.
But it was too corny.

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My father wants me to study law and be a good lawyer
He needs me to get him out of jail.

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Why can't you trust an atom?
Beause they make up everything.

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Whom do you ask to catch the killer goose?
The Goosetapo.

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How does a tiger find his favorite song on Apple Music?
He uses their algrrrythm

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Why did the visually impaired man fall into a well?
He couldn't see that well!

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What's the difference between a glutton and a hungry man?
One eats too long, the other longs to eat.

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Some jerk threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me.
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

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What did the doctor say about the tall person in a rush to see him?
I wish you were a little patient.

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What is it called when a writer is sick of writing?
Authoritis!

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The person who invented autocorrect
should burn in hello.

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What do you get after the animal dinner party?
Stuffed animals.

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They’re selling pre-sliced fruit at Whole Foods
Hey, that's false advertising!

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Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

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Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism, it's a light sentence.

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What happened when the cows escaped from the paddock?
Udder Chaos!

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