Ok so, Guys Night is about a d20 Modern game I played in after changing cities and wanted to get back into TTRPGs. It is told as best as I can recall, since it was over 10 years ago.

Table of Contents

Chapter I: In the Beginning
Chapter II: Genesis
Chapter III: Enter the Mullet
Chapter IV: It's the End of the World as we Know It
Chapter V: You Can Fight City Hall
Chapter VI: From the Ashes

Gates of Phoenix

After two months of road tripping, we arrive in Phoenix. Dan (the GM) had decided that since we road tripped for 2 months, everybody was going be at least level 6. This gave him a solid base to build his encounters. It as allowed him to move away from experience point tracking and he started using milestone leveling. So everybody levels up to six, which means we get paid! d20 Modern's wealth system is weird that way.

When we get to the eastern gates of Phoenix along Interstate 10, we are greeted by a small group of gate guards. The oddest part was while most of them were human, there were a few Dwarves and Elves mixed in. In classic fashion the Elves had long rifles up on the walls and the Dwarves wore riot gear with heavy shields and truncheons. The human that comes up to us is wearing a border patrol uniform, which I guess makes sense.

The border patrol guard lets us know that we can't take the Bradley into the city proper, but the outer city had roads wide enough to accommodate the vehicle. He directs us to the industrial park were we can can find a space large enough for tank to be worked on and we set up a base of operations.

Maurice and Eugene decide to make contact with the Cleric, or at least set up an appointment to see them. And since the rest of us got paid, we set out to stimulate the local economy. And this is when the Mullet really went from being a collection of numbers on a page to something more.

Retail Therapy

Mullet decided that since he had not bought anything since being freed, ge wanted to upgrade his armor, weapon, and newly acquired motorcycle. Up first was armor. I wanted to keep his archaic warrior look, so the next step up for armor was Studded Leather. He managed to find a Masterwork set of it for sell by an elven leatherworker. Which was sort of a problem.

You see, Mullet's family and his training to become a Shadow Slayer (which is his advanced class) had left him with a skewed perspective of the world. He was raised to only see "Shadowkind" as monsters. His family was killed by a vampire, and he slew the forces of living darkness. The Mayor and his cultists may have been human, but they had sided with the creatures of shadow. They could not be allowed to bring humanity low. His whole life never had he met anyone or anything to show him that these creatures deserved life. Until now.

Elves, Dwarves, Gnomes, and Halflings all had shops in the market alongside humans. These displaced people are just trying to make the best of their new surroundings. Dan explained that this was now becoming more common place. Mixed communities banding together and standing against the new world outside the gates.

I had been playing Mullet like a crusading templar, unyielding in his beliefs. He was chosen to save humanity from the vile and incursive forces of Shadowkind. And it was working right up until he stood before the elf leatherworker.

As a player, I kind of just brushed it off at first. Why would he care? He needed the better armor and this guy had it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he would be conflicted. He wouldn't need the armor if the Shadowkind had not come. But... this elf was just trying to survive the only way he could, by making armor. Given the choice would the elf want to be here as well? The elf was thinking and reasoning, and chose not to attack but work with humanity.

So Mullet's worldview shifted, not all Shadowkind must be destroyed. Some had helped humanity in their fight for survival in this new world. So why not patronized those that will help. He bought the armor, knowing that it will do some good for the elf.

Next up was an upgrade to the greatsword. Mullet wanted to find a masterwork greatsword and have it enchanted. After the better part of a day he found a weaponsmith who had made a +3 masterwork greatsword. Mullet also bought a Compound Bow, since I need a ranged option, and a Heavy Lance, since he now had a mount.

Mullet then searches out an enchanter for both the greatsword and his motorcycle. He wants the greatsword to have a finely honed edge, so he gets the Keen enchantment. For the motorcycle all he wanted was for it not to need fuel anymore. So now it runs on "Hopes and Dreams". The enchanter tells him to bring them in and they will be ready by the next night.

Now McDougal overhears this and wants the same for the Bradley. Finding fuel for it is only going to get harder from now on. Dan allows this because its one less thing to track and makes the game more fun. The last to things Mullet bought were primers for both the Dwarven and Elven languages and a leather long coat, because... well I think long coats are cool. What can I say, I'm a dork.

High Speed Joust

That night when the party gets back to the garage/base we share notes on what we had found in the city. Mullet explains the market and all the magical stuff he had found. Maurice lets us know that the Cleric will see us in five days. A.J. says he spoke with the guards about orc raiders on the interstate to the west. And McDougal had been contacted by a local Globodyne agent about strange things in the desert. We decided to check out the raiders and the desert weirdness once the vehicle modifications were done.

Two days later we are headed west on Interstate 10 when we come across some welded I-beams in the middle of the road. Mullet was able to just ride through them since there was enough room for me to pass. The Bradley, being a tank, just drove off the road to avoid them. While passing the tank trap, Orcs start popping out of the sand with grappling hooks! Alright! Game on! Mullet pulls out his Heavy Lance, time to do some ride-by attacks!

So with the some of the Orcs hanging on to the ropes and grappling hooks, McDougal drives further from the ambush site to put some distance between us and the rest of the orcs charging down the hillside. Mullet was riding at top speed trying to hit the Orcs left behind, but kept missing and having to turn around and try again. Every time he turned at that speed I have to make a Drive check. I only need a 5 to pass the check, but even if I fail I only lose control if I roll a 1. Bet you guess where this is going.

After 7 rounds of combat, Mullet has yet to hit a single Orc. The others have been using the Bradley's firing ports and cannon to take out the Orcs easily. During the last round of combat, with one Orc left, it finally happened. I rolled a 1. Mullet loses control of the Harley. At the speed they were going, both the bike and Mullet take 16d6 each. The bike has a hardness of 9 and 22 HP. Takes around 40 and it explodes. Mullet takes... 68. His Hit Point total is 71. I fail the reflex save for half damage, but pass the massive damage check.

Bloody and battered, He stands up, draws his +1 Keen Greatsword and bellows a challenge at the last orc! Finally, he get to kill something! The orc roars and charges him!

And its head explodes. Doc Ron had just sniped his kill. Out of the 30ish orcs that ambushed us, he killed none. His bike and body broken, he limped to Bradley and collapsed on the floor. And that's how the session ended. In hindsight, I should have just got off the bike and made a stand. But I wanted to do something cool with the new lance to justify the purchase.

Dan and I both decided that it was broken in the crash, lest I be tempted to do something stupid like that again. So how about you? Ever buy something to do something cool only to have it backfire horrifical on you? Let me know in the comments below. Happy gaming!

Victory by Dice!

TL;DR: A shattering of both his worldview and body for our hero.