oh honey, you are so young and you think so maturely. I believe there is a reason for that, and it is wonderful that you fight in your own way, by writing and expressing yourself. At that age, no one should think about the deep meaning of life, about the direction of life, the serious consequences ,....These are all things that you can pick up along the way in a healthy way and accept as your own. To learn, through love, only through love. First of all, you have to teach yourself to notice love, everywhere and always, because believe me, there is love all around us. Sometimes it is where we least expect it. And it has the greatest driving force, it doesn't matter if it is romantic love, or motherly, or neighborly love... or even love for music, painting, art... sports, to nature...there is so much of it.
i love you❤
Stay safe 🍀