I Found Myself

Turning to an age that I am not ready to face. A young woman, once lost in this miserable world. Many challenges coming my way, making me think, do I even deserve this?

Hello, I am Mikylla Andrea T. Caruana but you can call me Mikay or Kylla or even Miks. I am about to turn 20 on August 3. I am an incoming 2nd year student, Bachelor of Science in Business Administration major in Marketing Management at University of San Jose - Recoletos. Nothing much interesting in my life but I am fighting and always find something good in this world. Hobbies? Playing sports like volleyball, writing, singing, taking pictures and watching series. I am just basically introducing myself but later on, I will share to you some inspiring life situations that I have experienced. What else do I need to share before moving forward? Maybe a motto in life? I guess my motto in life is try your best but also take care of yourself.

Sharing with you my life before entering college. I studied my elementary years in University of San Jose - Recoletos. In my elementary days, I was mostly bullied by my classmates at school but I didn’t mind them all though I even cried right away. They like to make fun of me because of my personality I guess. I am an extrovert person and friendly but I don’t have a constant friend group at this time. Well yeh, it’s normal because in elementary, we are just having fun before entering high school. Moving forward, my highschool life. I transferred to another school which is Cebu Normal University because of bullying and I want to go to another environment. During my high school days, I was still bullied but only in my grade 7 days because I am close to student teachers and always participate in class. I just don’t really mind about it because the more you think and feel about it, the more they will bully you. In grade 8, I was able to make friends and was included in a friend group. Though our friend group has ups and downs, it made us stronger. Grade 9 days was one of my sad moments because my one friend will go to the States and our friend group almost broke but we are fine after talking things out. Lastly, my grade 10 in this school, it was pandemic so it was nothing much memorable ending my last year in this school. In my SHS, I went to the same school in my elementary years. Grade 11 was still in pandemic and this time around, they made me their class mayor. I was able to comply with the duties as a leader of the class and it was quite memorable even if it was online. Grade 12 days, I was elected again their mayor because we have the same classmates when we were in Grade 11. During the first semester, it was all good, not until the second semester. I started to have some downfalls this time. I will explain further about this. But, despite having some lapses, I was able to graduate.

Entering a new chapter in my student life, college. I stayed in the same school because I am used to the environment already and I don’t want to adjust. Before college began, I was able to apply to another school which is University of the Philippines Cebu. I didn’t expect anything in this school as this is for intelligent students and I am not capable of it. I was on the waitlist. When school started, during the 2nd week of our class, I received an email from UP Cebu asking if I wanted to re-apply my application and so I did. On the same day sending a re-appeal, I was able to be appealed and they just need my documents in order to be enrolled but sad to say, I didn’t do it because school already started and I am attached already to my classmates. As a student, I find ways to motivate myself in any way because college is way more different in my high school and elementary years. Ending my 1st year last July 19, all I can say is I did my best and I survived my 1st year in college now moving on to my 2nd year.

In the last part, I did mention my downfalls. Now I am sharing with you what I mean by that. During my Grade 12, 2nd semester, I experienced things that confused me if this was a mental health thing or not. As days passed by, I kinda knew that it was really my mental health that affects me and started to be absent in my class. I knew about my mental health status last March 2023 and I found out, I have Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder. It was so shocking to hear this from my psychiatrist. I really thought it was nothing but then, it turned out to be a serious condition. I started to take some medications because I have to and I stopped drinking it around July - August 2023 when I transferred to a psychologist. Knowing about my mental health status, it didn’t stop me to dream and move forward in life. During my depressive episodes, I learned more about myself. All I can say is that we should not be brought down by our mental health but we should find ways to turn it into a positive one.

I guess that would be all for now in my introduction. I hope I have inspired you because having anxiety and depression together is such a hard thing but that doesn’t mean you can’t move forward, you can always find a way to make a positive lifestyle. And to end this, always remember to keep fighting and take good care of yourself. No matter what life brings, strive always for the best. Adios!