Comfort From the Online World

Image Edited in Canva. Original image from Unsplash by Christin Hume

Looking at the left side of the school's canteen, I see a group of people having a delightful conversation. A gleam of happiness can be seen in their eyes and their booming laughter sounds free and genuine. They seem so free, they seem so alive, and they seem to have known each other for a long time now to build that kind of bond.

Looking at the right side, I see a bunch of other learners who are busy listening to one of their friends who is teaching them how to solve mathematical equations using derivatives. Their eyes are transfixed on their friend's scratch paper and are attentively listening to the step-by-step explanation given to them. They look so serious but their seriousness just proves how sincere they are to learning. Their eyes hold trust, they believe that their friend will help them to understand.

Original image from Unsplash by Ismail Hamzah

I divert my gaze to the piece of cheeseburger that I am holding and take a small bite. The silence at the table where I am sitting is deafening, all I can hear is the sound as I chew my food, and the sound of liquid draining when I sip my soda. Unlike the other tables in the canteen, the table where I am is empty. I am the only one who occupies it. No one dares to sit beside me, no one dares to disturb my peace. No laughter, no funny conversation, it was just like I'm not existing, that I didn't matter. That's fine, being alone is not new to me anymore, I already got used to it.

Since our professor in Mathematics in the Modern World is absent today, that means that I have a lot of available time to do leisure this afternoon. I chose to stay in the canteen to stay the rest of the day. I reached for my bag pack and get the laptop out. I then put it on the table and pressed the power button. While waiting, I connected my optical mouse, and once it powered on completely I connected my Bluetooth earphones.

Original image from Unsplash by Kiyun Lee

I spent time watching Youtube vlogs, listening to music, watching movies, and playing online games when suddenly a notification from my Discord application popped out on my screen.

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"Something Nice About You is about to start in Hive Ph — Hive Philippines. Do you want to join now?"

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I tried to reminisce if I joined any events on Discord until I realized that I clicked the interested button in the events section last time. With a sense of curiosity about what will happen and fear that I might get lectured by the administrator if I won't attend, I clicked the yes button. It then directs me to a new panel where a lot of unfamiliar names and avatars are present. It is the writer's community I joined a month ago, the Hive Ph.

The online conference began to fill with noise. Some are actively storytelling, some are laughing, and there is someone like me who just keep on listening. The activity from the room continued that way until it suddenly became quiet. The administrator of the group has arrived meaning the event is now going to start.

The administrator asked us last time to research people on the list given and give that people compliments anonymously even though we barely know some of them. Luckily, I manage to do it. I just don't expect that the compliments for us will be sent privately and we will read them aloud.

A notification from my discord inbox popped up. Someone sent me a message. The anonymous messages were sent by the administrator already. With a trembling hand, while my heart started to race, I opened the file. I am not hoping to receive many but looking at the messages on my screen one-by-one I suddenly felt like crying.

"aesthetic yarn, I love how fashionable you are with your dresses"

"I don't know much about you but you are friendly and handsome, chariz!"

"Khairro has a good voice in singing. He is also approachable and friendly."

"Your introduction post was fascinating to read. It was captivating to Netflix addicts like myself. DIY, you say? You have such a creative and artistic mind!"

"mahilig mambola pero cute naman. young and free pa pero alam naman nya ang mga responsibilidad nya. importante maging happy ka at wag pansinin ang opinyon ng iba."

"the Manila boy, the mysterious one. You have a golden voice with a dedication to help your family. I like how you help your family and how much you exerted an effort for your studies. I'll continue peeking to your socmed once in a while."

"Dear khairro, >como estas? cómo estás espero que estés bien. You are very friendly and engaging. Your name Khairro sounds like my favorite Japanese game way back then that is the Kairo game. I assume that you are a gamer and an anime lover. Stay kind and humble. Lablab always"

"magaling makisama"

"khairro? The Witty Gullible potentials hidden within kid."

"Mabait din. May magandang bukas para saiyo basta pakabait ka lang,wag ka magpahawa kay denn denn the hacker."

"A very handsome lad. He is funny and innocent. Pwede siya maging fashion icon someday."

"I loved you voice BTW; you shall try to perform more in 3speak. I loved that you came back in writing, also that you become more active now to virtual friends. Let’s build memories together with the gang."

"the man who surprised me the most. I didn't expect your voice to be so good. You are very determined to write and publish an article. Kudos to your passion. I appreciate your kindness and generosity."

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------ Best compliment -----

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"Hi there, Khairro! When I first saw you and your blog, I was like 'wow, I have the same standard when it comes to aesthetics'. People may call you BGC guy but knowing how to present yourself and the things you do is a great trait! Continue having a high standard because that will benefit you on how you perceive the things you deserve. You're also kind of matured, at first I thought you're older than your age. You also know your way with the people around you, which amazes me. It's lovely to meet you, Khairro!"

My eyes start to blurry, my heart began to tighten, and my teardrops suddenly cascade down my face after reading all of the messages from anonymous people. It feels like I was stoned on my seat, no words are coming from my mouth, and the sound that I can only hear around me is my small sobs.

Image Edited in Canva. Original image from Unsplash by Hayley Murray

I felt the sincerity, I felt the assurance, and I felt that someone treated and accepted me as their friend for the very first time. I felt love, I felt cared for and felt like I found my people. Friends that I wasn't able to get into real life.

I wiped my tears using my hands, smiled, and compose myself before proceeding to my turn from reading the messages to them aloud.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Let me grab this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who sent me their heartfelt messages. Thank you for sending me such compliments even though you didn't know me personally and you just met me virtually. I appreciate what you had told me and I will treasure that forever.

To the administrator who created the event, thank you for conducting a meaningful event for us to know each one of us deeper and boost our self-esteem. Looking forward to more meaningful events like this.